Ladies Who Munch - Kicking It Queer Style Since 2007

Come out, come out wherever you are ...

2009-06-22T17:04:00.000-04:00

God I love Rachel Maddow.

Poopy shit

2009-05-26T13:26:00.001-04:00

California just can't get it together. But, 18,000 already married gay couples get to stay that way.

Fucking adorable

2009-05-25T16:32:00.002-04:00

I usually am not a fan of third graders. And I hate starting a sentence with "kids these days" but thing is, kids these days seem awfully different than when I was a wee one. However, this kid is awesome.

Thanks to Feministing.com's community site for posting the vid and blogdate.

Mixed bag: pre-weekend edition

2009-05-21T16:26:00.003-04:00

Slate has an interesting story about how the conservative right has been mum lately on gay marriage. Seriously, no Armageddon? Damn.

Lindsay Lohan is thinking about converting to Judaism so she can marry SamRo? WTF? I really want SamRo to quit that bitch and get a hot little femme.

Marie Osmond has a gay daughter? And talked about it? In a not-crappy way?

It really doesn't get any better than this: Miss California's mom was involved in a steamy lesbian love affair? HEYO

I'm not the biggest fan of Professor Foxy's weekly column at Feministing.com, but I'm slowly coming around. She doesn't have the snark that I love in Savage Love, but her advice, albeit toned down, is as far as I can tell, good. But her recent column is a subject that is sort of hush-hush still (and shouldn't be): Female ejaculation. Now, you'll find your lesbians who love it, lesbians who wish they could do it, lesbians who fantasize about it and everything else in the gamut. So, where do you fall?

Happy Weekend!

How many ways do I love thee?

2009-05-19T19:26:00.002-04:00

RuPaul is headlining Capital Pride's June 14 festival. Does it get any better?

Because I'm genderqueer, you little punk****

2009-05-19T16:06:00.002-04:00

Miriam over at Feministing.com shares a story about an issue I'm sure a good number of us have encountered: Getting asked (or hears someone muttering) "Is that a boy or a girl?" Miriam identifies as genderqueer and talks a bit about language, how to answer and what it means to be genderqueer.

Stoned, stuffed up kids tell it to us STRAIGHT

2009-05-18T14:51:00.001-04:00

The awesomely bad National Organization for Marriage has released another gem. This one is being run in New Hamshire.

Watch out!

'No offense'

2009-05-06T22:45:00.003-04:00

I'm not the biggest fan of "Make Me a Supermodel," but The Wifey likes it and it somehow has become a Wednesday tradition. I did get more than I bargained for when on tonight's episode, Amanda, decided to admit (during a naked shoot) that she tries to be naked around her son, so he doesn't "[no offense] turn gay."

Sigh. Oh dear sweet Amanda. Don't you know you're on Bravo? After LOGO, it's the gayest channel there is. For reals. But this? In the beginning, I thought her little quirks were cute, like how she says like way too often. I even batted for her when Jordan would be snarky about her. But no more. And here's why.

Moms, moms-to-be, lesbians who are adopting, etc., etc.: When will you realize that having a gay son is probably the best combo of kid/sexual orientation there is? You will forever have someone who will shop, talk, cook and all that with you. And he'll never leave you to be with his annoying girlfriend. Instead, he'll bring over his boyfriend because you're the cool Mom. The Mom who loves having them both over. At the same time. While acknowledging that it's OK to be gay. Maybe that's sexist and stereotypical. So what? If I have a kid, I hope he's gayer than seventeen rainbows.

Breaking news: D.C. Council votes to recognize the gays! (and their marriages!)

2009-05-05T16:27:00.001-04:00

This is fantastic!

Love for the Loveless

2009-04-30T18:46:00.003-04:00

I'm fanatically obsessed with the Eels' "Love of the Loveless." It was featured on an episode of "U.S. of Tara" (which rocked BTW) and also on my fav, "Queer as Folk." Enjoy.

Love Of The Loveless - Eels

Kelly McGillis: GAY LADY

2009-04-30T17:37:00.002-04:00

We can add another one to the long list of celesbians. Kelly McGillis admits she likes the ladies. A lot. "[L]ife is a freaking journey, and it's about growing and changing, and coming to terms with who and what you are, and loving who and what you are."

Or as my girlfriend said, "The second I saw her on 'Top Gun,' I knew she was a D."

Via SheWired.

Fucking awesome cause

2009-04-30T15:31:00.002-04:00

I started volunteering with Northern Virginia AIDS Ministry in early February and it's been an awesome blessing. They have an online autio n going on now, and there's only FIVE hours left, so you can jump in and get a great deal on something. Chiggedy check it out!

'The Sisterhood of the Comfortable Pants'

2009-04-30T14:33:00.002-04:00

Slate has a great article on how "Golden Girls" was ahead of it's time. And I've always agreed. Wifey and I used to catch "Golden Girls" after "Frasier" on weeknights (I know, we're 150 years old) and I've loved the way they featured gay and lesbian peeps with no shame; I mean, the show started out with a gay duder as a cook. (He was subsequently let go after a bit, probably because the dynamic was so obviously better with just the four ladies.)

But one of my favorite episodes is when Dorothy's friend Jean comes to visit and Dorothy knows Jean is a lesbian but no one else realizes it. It's not a problem until Jean falls for Rose.

Also fantastic: Blanche's reaction when they first tell her. "Lesbian. Lesbian? LES-BIAN?"

And we can't forget about the groundbreaking episode about abortion on "Maude."

And the best part of this is

2009-04-27T14:28:00.003-04:00

First of all, it's no secret that I think Hillary Clinton is an amazing woman. Second, she's fighting hard for good medical care for women and in this short video, she listens politely to Rep. Christopher Smith (R-NJ), and it's almost as though she's imagining rolling up his tie in a ball and shoving it down his throat. No? Just me?

But the best part is that after she listens, she talks calmly and slowly like my mom used to do when she was very, very angry with me. It's as if Hillary would have liked to say, "Congressman, I deeply respect your passionate concern and views, but STFU."

Mixed bag

2009-04-26T15:03:00.003-04:00

So much to blog about! Here's a rundown of what I've had jumbling in my head as of late:

This guy makes the devil look like your bestie:
Rockstar Energy Drink co-founder and and conservative radio host Michael Savage: "You want me to tel you what makes me sick? When I see two puffy white males kissing each other, I want to puke. When I see two women kissing each other, on the lips, as lovers, I want to vomit." (Thanks to gayrights.change.org)

Goodbye Bea Arthur, we'll miss you:
Bitch magazine's homage. The Associated Press' coverage and CNN's video.

A bestie told me about this chick's blog and though I haven't had much time to explore, it looks promising. PLUS, who doesn't like femmes?

Oprah.com's strange story on why women are leaving men to be with women. It's an epidemic!

Iowa is unsure what will happen now that gay marriage is legal. The whole state is in a state of confusion! Get it? STATE of confusion? Eh, it's early.

Don't mess with us

2009-04-21T15:10:00.002-04:00

Dude. When you post "We are not a gay bar!" on your outside bar sign, people are going to get mad. Not to mention, it's unlawful. Pbbbbbttttttt.

Marriage can be so gay

2009-04-19T23:22:00.004-04:00

I'm still sort of frustrated that I don't have a definite answer when random friends decide, for whatever reason, to ask if my girlfriend and I are getting married. First, it's not legal in the state we live in (Virginia) and second, it's sort of presumptious. I get that they're attempting to be progressive (or are they?) but it's still a little on the weird side.

I go back and forth from kind of liking that we can't get married, that we're not like the hetero population and that, in my mind, our relationship is much more equal and exciting than a hetero one, to thinking someday I'd like to get married, privately and then have a big fucking party afterwards and invite my parents and smile for days at their faces when they open the mail. Basically, my two issues are explained in this 30-second clip from "Queer As Folk."

P.S. Read Bilerico's post on How Gay Marriage put an end to Gay Sex.

Because inquiring minds want to know

2009-04-19T23:04:00.003-04:00

Recently (OK, two minutes ago) I was reading an article on gay sex (research, people!) and I noticed a MeetGayCouples.com ad. I clicked on it and it's this whole social networking site for gay and lesbian couples, say WHAT? So, I want to know this:

1. Are there any lesbian couples on the site? All I see are many, many pictures of duders. 24 in fact.
2. I'm super curious to join because I want more lesbian friends. But that can lead to more lesbian drama. So, hmmm.
3. Must we as a community create sites like this to find couples? I mean, I'm assuming there's no MeetHeteroCouples.com. Now that I type that, it's probably out there.

Damn.

The last lesbian commune on the left

2009-03-03T02:21:00.003-05:00

Fearnet: your source for shitty, free horror films! Provided you have OnDemand and are bored. Very, very bored. Or are such a huge horror film fan that you don't give a damn about what you're watching.

As I've said before, I'm a fan of the horror genre. I'll take it where I can get it, be it rad, original Asian horror, low-rent but high-on-the-scares American 1970s horror or low-rent and amazingly stupid American remake of rad, original Asian horror. Whatever. I'm a sucker.

So, when the the re-imagining (if you will) of Friday the 13th was released, I checked out the original on Fearnet for funzies. This year's version is, by the way, effing terrible. I hadn't seen the original in a long while, and wanted to refresh my memory for the remake/re-imagining/crapfest that is the 2009 version. NO NEED, as it turns out! It's just that bad!

While we were sitting through the endless crapfest of previews for the new F13, we saw a preview for a remake of The Last House on the Left. Now, if you've been in front of a tv at all in the last few weeks, you know it's due in theaters on March 13.

Cue Fearnet! As always, Fearnet is out makin' that dolla and for a few hot minutes, they were running the real thang: Wes Craven's 1972 gorefest The Last House on the Left.

I watched! I couldn't help myself. As a young 'mo, my parents would never let me rent LHH, even though they let me rent pretty much every other awful, bloody '80s horror film out there. You know what? They were probably being quite sensible. Remind me to call my mom and tell her exactly that, ok?

The 1972 LHH is ... something. Here's a fun fact from IMDB: one of the film's alternate titles was Sex Crime of the Century. Let's amend that shall we? Dyke Sex Crime of the Century! Or maybe Forced Ladyparts Rape, like it's a weird Japanese porn.

Synopsis: A high school chick goes out with her friend to the Big City to see a concert for her birthday. As they head to the show, a radio report reveals that some Dangerous Men have escaped from prison. In the Big City, the chicks attempt to buy some "grass" from one of the Dangerous Men. Mayhem ensues. And by Mayhem, I mean death. And lesbian rape. And forced lesbian copulation. And also regular, heterosexual rape. Also, someone's peen is bitten off by an angry woman. Also drugs! Also a silly, happy score accompanies this whole thing! After that, revenge! And that guy who played the angry karate instructor ("Sweep the leg!") in The Karate Kid is in it!

If you come away with anything about the original, it's one thing: lesbian rape. The IMDB FAQ for the film even includes this question: "Why isn't the forced lesbian scenes in any release?" I mean, awesome. Good question. Not "Why is this film a sack of shit?" or "Why the fucking hell did anyone sit through this?"

And now this: I'm terribly curious to see if the remake (due any day now!) includes, you know, any of the violent lady-on-lady sexual assault that the original included. There's also a character in the original who apparently turned into a big 'mo while her boyfriend was in prison. Will we see that?

Here's my guess: fucking absolutely no way on earth. Here's another guess: the new version of LHH will somehow, some way end up being WORSE than the original.

Who's with me?

6.1 L Word: And so it begins

2009-02-13T16:18:00.004-05:00

Whew! The final season of "The L Word" is upon us and we find out right away that Jenny Schecter must die. And did. Xena, the Warrior Princess is dressed as a cop and has about five stunning lines. The rest of the cast is looking sullen in Bette and Tina's living room. She tells Bette she has a beautiful family and then in comes the medics with Jenny's body on a stretcher. They decide, in their infinite wisdom, that parking the stretcher in the living room while Srgt. Xena makes notes, is a good idea.

* And now, we go back to when Jenny is addressing the crowd at the afterparty for Lez Girls. Now, Ilene, I haven't forgotten that you LOVED Adele last season, because her storyline has seemed to have been dropped. Neatly, like Ilene likes. We get to see her smoking a clove cigarette (gag) and telling Tina that the movie plot has been changed from lesbian to str8. Ah, buggar.

* Meanwhile, Jenny finds Shane has muffdived right into Niki Poopie Tattooie. This, breaks Jenny's cold, but not yet dead, heart. She hops into her car and drives away. Shane pushes Nicki away, who is obviously smitten, and gets into a car to chase after Jenny. Why these characters love car chases is beyond me. Is it a lesbian thing I've not yet been made aware of? Sheesh.

* We find ourselves, dear readers, in the middle of a semi-fight between Tasha and Alice. I write semi-fight because Alice thinks it's wise to answer the phone whilst arguing. Now, if I did that while I was semi-fighting with my lady, well, I wouldn't be blogging right now. But this isn't about me. Moving on. P.S. Alice is actually wearing the correct size for her body and sports the cutest little red dress. Tasha has an impeccable ensemble with her baggy jeans, tank and vest. Yum.

* Back at Jenny and Shane's: Shane is trying to push through the front door while Jenny is trying to hold it shut. The chain helping keep Shane out is THE LONGEST DOOR CHAIN in America. I'm not kidding. Shane could have easily squeezed her way into the house, almost X-Men like, I think.

* Quickly, we see Bette and Tina return home to address the 8-year-old babysitter. They find that Angelica has had a fever and that the baby(sitter) gave her Advil. ADVIL? Do they make that for babies? Tina is too busy being angry and pursing her tiny lips to worry much about Angelica. "I'm just so fucking furious. ... Adele and Aaron worked him over. William has some integrity." Bette: "You should call him." Tina: "It's 1:30 in the morning." Bette: "You should call him, it's not like he hasn't called you a half dozen times in the middle of the night." Tina: "He pays my paycheck." Bette: "That doesn't give him more rights than you." Excuse me, but um, let me check. Wait. Yup, yup, it does give him more rights than you. Too bad they can't finish the conversation, Shane is banging the door, next door, pleading with Jenny. Thus starts a debate between Tina and Bette about Cheaters' rights and Cheatees' expectations. I'll spare you, because I'm sure you can imagine it.

* Niki Poopie Tattooie arrives at Jenny's door and helps talk her way into the house, along with Shane. We hear Shane's poor explanation and Niki's sad, sad dialogue. It ends with a lamp getting thrown at Shane. Delightful.

* "We have nothing in common," Tasha says to Alice. "We have things in common," Alice says, and proceeds to nuzzle up to Tasha. Awwwww. Tasha sees through it. She says that can't be the only thing. But we, the audience, would have loved to see all the things that Tasha and Alice have in common. Damn.

* At Bette/Tina's. Shane has conned her way in, and is telling Bette about her love for Molly. About how she was faithful to Molly. "That's big," Bette says, all doughy eyed. "How hard is it for someone to be faithful to someone they love?!" Tina says, half screaming. Yikes. Maybe some things should just not be brought up, right? But I realize that this is almost impossible for lesbians. Or women, for that matter.

* Kit and Helena have taken over Dawn Denbo's club and have named it the Hit club, because it combines their two names.

* Back at Bette and Tina's. Tina's all scrunchy in her apology to Shane for being volatile. Angelica is sick and crying in the background and both mamas run to help. Shane decides to take her chances elsewhere.

* Shane shows up at Alice's and ruins the argument she was having with Tasha. Shane, with her clothes in a Whole Foods bag. How chic! Tasha is perturbed and gets the hell out of Dodge. Alice chases after her. Again, another car chase.

* Bette is confused by the electronic thermometer and gets a reading on Angelica: 104. The trio race to the hospital.

* Molly shows up at Jenny's. MOLLY? I forgot about you. Jenny tells Molly that Shane and Niki hooked up on the Pink Ride and that they are currently fucking at a hotel. Molly gives Jenny one of Shane's shirts with a love letter to Shane inside the pocket, despite the news and despite Jenny. Who, by the way, answered the door in her underwear. That's how I like to decompress.
She reads the letter (who wouldn't?) and it's fucking beautiful. Molly seems totally OK with Shane's M.O. Jenny takes the shirt and the letter and hides them in the attic. How V.C. Andrews.

* At the hospital, we get a lesson in Los Angeles gay rights when Bette has a Bette Moment and yells at the front desk lady because she asked for one name on the form. I love Bette Moments!

*Shane runs into, totally by coincident, Niki Poopie Tattooie and her entourage at a restaurant. Jenny texts Niki that she'd love for her to come over. "Does this mean Jenny really loves me?" Niki asks Shane. "I don't know. Maybe. Yes," Shane says. Niki takes off.

*Bette and Tina are buckling in little Angelica and we find out the reading on the thermometer was wrong. Little Angie is safe and sound and sleeping in her carseat.

* "Who the hell lives here?" Alice asks Tasha as they both arrive at a house. Lo and fucking behold it's Papi's house! Papi is back! And she never went anywhere. She in fact, has remained a friend of Tasha and has stopped wearing hats. And is fucking Gabby. And has beer in the fridge for Tasha and Alice to drink while Papi gets down to business. Small world.

* Niki arrives at Jenny's sans entourage. They immediately begin making out, and Jenny is relishing in the fact that (and please, if you didn't figure this out yet, you're not a true L Word fan) she's going to fuck Niki and then kick her ass to the curb. Ah, such is life.

*Wrap up: Alice tells Tasha that she's not ready to lose her. Helena breaks up a fight at the Hit club when she sees Shane taking a shot and decides to join her. Bette and Tina arrive safely home and Bette promises that she will forever be faithful. The ladies all meet up at The Planet and have taken to two different tables: The ones who have been burned and the ones who have burned. Way to shake it up!

6.3 L Word: SRSLY?

2009-02-01T22:49:00.004-05:00

Since last episode, we're blazingly aware that yes, it's true: Shane and Jenny have slept together. We see the dog barking on the bed (which Jenny doesn't wake to) and we see the sleepyheads all lovey dovey and it's, um, weird. I had a feeling a long time ago that my "I wonder why Ilene doesn't have Jenny and Shane fall for each other, or at the very least fuck?" Well, silly me, they just did.

Alice shows up at the house to meet with Jenny to get advice about her screenplay. She finds, very soon in, that Shane has slept with Jenny. She texts everyone, who responds probably the same way you did. Except for Kit. Poor Kit. Her cell phone is seen vibrating and she stares at it like it's a hamster on a wheel. "What? A text message?" She is absolutely befuddled and confused by the technology and consequently doesn't read the text. Here's the thing. How, in 2009, is there anyone who is baffled by their cellphones? SRSLY, Ilene? And again, poor Kit.

Meanwhile, Bette has her own shit to deal with. Seems as though Jodi is still vindictive and Phyllis has something to get off her chest. Tom makes a cameo, though that awesomely bad storyline will have to wait until episode four before we get some answers.

Alice actually acts like Good Ol' Alice and it's WONDERFUL. In my mind, I assume that she read my blog posts and figured, heck, I'll do this one small thing for Tres Bien. Anyway, Alice and Tasha are back to being adorable, Alice does something commendable on her talk show (I know, I almost forgot she was on it, too) and will probably pay the price. But you find out later that it's all worth it at the end of the day.

The rest of the clan are both giddy with horror and delightfully confused at what is now Shenny. Shane and Jenny, meanwhile, think only Alice knows (has no one learned that Alice cannot keep anything in?) and think they're acting smooth when one leaves the group for a rendezvous and the other leaves shortly thereafter. Highlight of the ep: Bette's infectious laughter. At everything. And anything. And her inability to quit. But hey, inappropriate laughter is always good.

There's the drama with who-stole-the-movie-film (there's only one copy and it's been stolen), Tina's job is on the line. Come to think of it, Alice, Bette and Tina's jobs are ALL on the line. Cripes, and in this economy? Can't wait for next week, can you?

Oh joy, it's a new season of "The L Word"

2009-02-01T22:37:00.002-05:00

So, we weren't going to sign up for Showtime because of many reasons: money, Netflix and god-the-last-season-of-L-Word-was-horseshit. Well, we thought of the other reasons TO get Showtime: Dexter, Weeds and U.S. of Tara (which, by the way, features the cutest little out gay boy in an understanding and tolerant household. I know, bizarre, right?). So we bit the bullet, called Comcast and three days later (two days of waiting for the cable guy to show and not showing and one day of him actually showing hours later than expected and making it happen), we have Showtime!

So, I'm three weeks late on this, but I'll be blogging about The L Word through the eight episodes of Ilene's last homage to Jenny Schecter. Joy.

Sucked into Facebook

2009-01-21T14:24:00.005-05:00

In an unprecedented move, I decided to join Facebook. Now, you're all probably like, "Um, what took you so long?" Well, I was part of the resistance, and I liked that. I never joined MySpace and thought it was um, not very classy. I'd visit someone's page and get inundated with crappy backgrounds, annoying songs and drunk pictures, all of which I can find on my own, thank you very much. And I was tired of hearing EVERYWHERE, "Well, we're Facebook/MySpace friends." Meaning that they probably didn't know each other very well, but enjoyed the idea of them just enough to friend them. Or confirm the "friendship" from them. So, I would roll my eyes whenever someone mentioned anything about their page.

Now I'm the annoying one. A small sample of the sentences I've been throwing at The Wifey since I joined Jan. 1: "Oh. My. God. You'll never guess who wanted to friend me. It's ridic." "You'll never believe who is a Sarah Palin-lovin' person!" "Some of these people have more than 1,000 friends. Like, right."

TW just listens, or nods or laughs. She thinks I'm crazy for joining, a bit leery of pics of us being up on the page but for the most part puts up with it. I know she'll probably never get her own page, and I don't try to force her too and I'm really, really trying to tone down my daily announcements for her. I only friend people I'm actually friends with (what a crazy novel idea!) and I keep everything super private (unless you're a friend). It's given me something to do when I have some downtime and I've gotten in touch with at least four people that I used to be close with but then lost touch with. I've found, refreshingly enough, that some people who were Jesus-freaks back in the day have opened their minds more and are most accepting of me and others.

But what I most appreciate about Facebook is the support I've gotten from my friends. It's been so nice to be welcomed and accepted when my own parents are um, well, not accepting. I've been nurturing my friendships much more lately and it's paying off better than I would have ever thought it could. Who knew?

Sam Adams, Beau Breedlove caught in web of lies, beer and too many name jokes to count

2009-01-21T14:16:00.002-05:00

Here I was, taking some time to read up on Washington Blade news, and I click on "Calls made for openly gay Portland mayor's resignation."

I had no idea what I was about to read. OK, so it's not the most interesting story. It's a gay mayor/young intern boyfriend kind of a story, but c'mon — The mayor is Sam Adams? And the boyfriend? Beau Breedlove. The mayor won the election — he was running against, wait for it, wait for it, Bob Ball — and after he won, he apologized for having a relationship with Breedlove and keeping it a secret. You can read all the sordid (and kind of boring ) details yourself. Just revel in the deliciousness of the names.

Getting jiggey with it ... or something like that

2009-01-05T16:02:00.001-05:00

This made my Monday.

Isn't it bro-mantic

2008-12-26T03:32:00.002-05:00

Welcome, pimps! I'm baaaack!

I'd like to discuss with you the following term: lesbro*. Say it with me now: lesssss-broooooo. Lesbro!

It's like faghag, but slightly more manly and certainly more butch. Lesbians and lesbros don't talk about their feelings! They drink them away! Lesbians and lesbros share hats! Lesbians and lesbros engage in a very special kind of talking about their past wherein they almost reveal everything and yet, at the same time, reveal nothing at all.

Lesbians and lesbros are like pimp daddy gay dudes and faghags, but with higher tolerance for alcohol and less interest in grooming products. Lesbros are the faghag to the queer butch's straight girl, and god bless my lesbro for coining that term.

So, lesbro: mine is a married, miliary dude. Bless his fantastic, liberal, absolutely rad wife for tolerating my totally gay presence in their lives. If I had to look back (and I will) on my life in the capital of the Confederacy and choose one positive, it'd be Lesbro and Lesbro-wife (I'm sorry, but there just isn't a set of words that would indicate both your liberal radness and your queer-friendliness, so there you go).

Just a brief shout-out to lesbro and lesbro-wife: y'all are fantastically, crazily awesome. You should totes sell your house and move to D.C. and be crazy, no-money-having D.C.-ites with us.

No? You ... you want to have all of our money? We'll totes buy your house so you can move to D.C. and be rad with us.

Bah! Fine! But I still think you guys are the shiz-nit. XO.

*"Lesbro"= Disturbingly close straight male friend of a lesbian; same as a faghag, but less obnoxious and sad. Usage: "Yo, my lesbro is gonna come over for some beers. Do we have any Miller Lite?"

Long time coming

2008-12-22T17:51:00.004-05:00

The Wifey and I decided to go on vacation to Minnesota since we weren't able to get tickets for Thanksgiving (over $600 per ticket? No fucking way) and since taking off time during the "real" holiday time would be damn near impossible. So, we took the first week of December (before it got too cold) to fly to our home state. I'm going to go on a tangent here and say it's great to live far away sometimes — you can pick where you want to live and once you make the big move, it's much easier to move to other places. You can start over if you want, be who you really are or who you really aren't. I love to visit friends and (some) family, but I really enjoy coming back to D.C. Moving on.

So, in a brave move, I decided to visit my parents up north. I hadn't seen them for over a year and a half and felt that it would be a healing move. It was an even harder decision to go by myself while Wifey visited with her family. I made a pact with myself that this visit would be solo — to show my parents that I indeed was alive and well but to establish the line. I drove up and tried to conjure emotion — any emotion — but I couldn't. Save for the ever-growing feeling of numbness. I drank my last sip of gas station coffee and unlocked the trunk to get my suitcase out. Slowly, I walked up the driveway, making snowy prints and knocked on the door. My dad greeted me with a hug and immediately started crying (he's a cryer and probably where I get it from). My mom was smiling really big and when my dad finally let go, she hugged me. I smiled, but it felt fake. Like the smile you smile after you've been crying really hard and someone tries to make you feel better or laugh? That kind.

It was good to see them, but for the first time, I felt like an outsider. Because my mom and I would argue every time we spoke over the phone, the last four months we had communicated strictly through e-mail. Which was probably a good thing, and saved a lot of tears, but left it really easy for one party to ignore the other parties words. I would mention Wifey in almost every e-mail to her because she is a big part of my life and truthfully, there isn't much I do without her that's worth mentioning. My mom would reply, and ignore any girlfriend references. So fine, I get that. And I'll put up with it for awhile. But she was doing this in person too — I'd say anything with the girlfriend mention and my mom would start talking about something else or ignore it. But, again, I'll put up with it. For awhile.

Thing is, I wasn't sure there was ever the right time for the "So, the next time you see me, it will be the both of us or no me at all" conversation. And, consequently, I never got around to it. So, here I am. Weeks later and I haven't talked or e-mailed my mom. I just don't know what to say, where to start or what to do. There seriously needs to be a guide put out for this shit. Welcome to Gay World! Here's your map and guide and rainbow sticker for your car and list of gay-friendly places and places you should never go at night and good gay bars and good (mostly only OK) gay movies, etc. Someone's gay agenda should be to put something like that out there. For the rest of us. Who are winging it every day.

So, that's why the blogging has been a bit on the low side this past month. I've got a lot on my mind and was semi-depressed for a week or so after coming home because of my parents. I just felt alone while there and I missed my girlfriend and I just couldn't relax. It made me sad that this is what the relationship with my parents is reduced to. One day at a time. Or something shitty like that.

I heart RuPaul like WHOA

2008-12-19T17:26:00.002-05:00

More Gay & Lesbian Video

RuPaul's new show on Logo, "RuPaul's Drag Race," looks like well, the best reality show ever? Starts in February, you can read all the deliciousness at rupaulsdragrace.com.

Prop 8: The Musical

2008-12-19T16:52:00.002-05:00

I'm late on this, but if you haven't seen it, it's so worth it. Makes me glad I was a theater geek in high school. The highlight is Margaret Cho — decked in tattoos.

STFU E-Harmony

2008-11-19T16:52:00.002-05:00

I've never tried online dating, as I have certain fears I was never able to overcome. However, many of my friends and The Wifey's friends have indeed successfully found love, or at least some like with a bit of sex mixed in by fishing for honeys online. That sounds absurb, ignore it. Moving on.

E-Harmony was the only site that didn't allow queers to join its Christian, overly occupied with saving sex until marriage, heterosexual boringness. And Eric McKinley filed a complaint against the online matchmaker ("Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match" ... sorry, fell into "Fiddler oon the Roof. Many apologies.) in 2005. From NBC:

"Online dating service eHarmony is adding another personality trait to its 29 dimensions of computability. The California-based company will begin providing same-sex matches under as part of a settlement with New Jersey's Civil Rights Division.

Under terms of the settlement, the company can create a new or differently named Web site for same-sex singles. The company can also post a disclaimer saying its compatibility-based matching system was developed from research of married heterosexual couples."

But here's where I lose interest. E-Harmony has, um, standards that I would probably never agree to in the first place. And, there are a TON of queer online dating sites. Why would you want to join E-Harmony? I suppose that from what someone said in the comments that because they never really said they were only marketing to straighties, they were being discrimatory. In any event, McKinley won $5,000 and got a one-year membership. Methinks he won't find Mr. Right.

A Day Without a Gay

2008-11-19T16:44:00.002-05:00

The newest battle waging against the Prop 8 results and other marriage amendments is the Day Without A Gay on Dec. 10. Those who are interested in participating, should call in gay to work and volunteer at a local organization. Thing is, I never even call in sick to work, so calling in gay doesn't seem to be my kind of pie, but I'm interested. Why it's a Wednesday, I have no idea. Can't it be a Friday? Hmm. Maybe I'll just have to call in gay a few times before the year is up.

If you want to get an idea of where to volunteer during the day, go here.

More on Wanda!

2008-11-17T14:18:00.001-05:00

Holy lesbian hot pants: Wanda Sykes is gay!

2008-11-16T21:01:00.002-05:00

I love, love, love Wanda. She makes me giggle harder than a schoolgirl with a crush on her lady English professor. And The Wifey always said, "She has got that vibe" whenever we'd watch Lady Sykes on the tellie. And know we know for sure.

Prop 8 protest in Washington, D.C.

2008-11-16T20:59:00.001-05:00

We weren't able to make the Prop 8 protest, but we can live vicariously (and hopefully victoriously) through those who were able to make it. Washington Blade has a pictorial up here.

Yup, your job sucks

2008-11-16T20:56:00.003-05:00

Take a look at Google's office building in NYC. And then cry. Cry because your office doesn't offer you every kind of breakfast cereal. Cry because there's no Lego play area in your office. And cry because you can't play ping pong during your break.

I'm thinking of buying some new art

2008-11-14T17:13:00.002-05:00

There's been a ton of chatter about the Charlize Theron and Nicole Kidman film about the first post-op male to female transsexual. Nicky is set to play Einar Wegener (who becomes Lili Elbe) and Charlie is set to play Einar's wife, Gerda. This all takes place in the 1930s and I hope this film doesn't flop like a flounder.

But what is way more interesting is Gerda's hot, hot lesbian art. Check it out over at Dorothy Surrenders but be warned it is very much NSFW. Though, it would make a darn swell screensaver. The tie for my favorite goes to the hoopskirt adventure and the fingerfucking on the bed.

But, Showtime, you didn't tell me anything

2008-11-14T16:47:00.002-05:00

I hate when previews don't show me anything. I feel it is a waste of film, time, use of actors and actresses and a failure of what the word preview means. It's POOPY SHIT when channels do this. And when I write "this," I specifically mean what Showtime did in the vid below. I get that it's supposed to be mysterious, but c'mon, where's the heat? Where's the passionate yelling paired with the passionate love making? Where's the food fights and the overturned tables and the random straight girl dalliances? WHERE?

I hate to admit that I'm looking forward to the next season of "The L Word," and hope that Adele (who I didn't see in the preview) is gone. Actually, I can help with the script in that area. After the last season, Adele hired someone to find Papi, found her and married her in Canada. They lived happily ever after. In Canada. Far away. I don't even care about the annoyance of Jenny anymore. I think that was the plan all along from Ilene: She wanted us to like Jenny, so she set out to create a new, more annoying and baffling character and came up with Adele. Delightful!

Getting beyond the jargon

2008-11-13T14:20:00.002-05:00

Like many of you, I was saddened by Prop 8 passing. If you're wondering what can happen now, check out Melissa Griffin's article on the ins and outs of gay marriage in terms of the law.

What did you do this weekend?

2008-11-12T16:48:00.003-05:00

This is where The Wifey and I went — Great Falls indeed.

Maybe it's just me, maybe it's not

2008-11-11T18:02:00.003-05:00

Dlisted has a Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ro post up regarding if Lohan is a lesbian:

"Even though HoHan is currently doing the labia lambada with SamRo, she doesn't consider herself a full-time lezzie. When asked if she was a lezzzzzzzbian, she said, "No." But when asked if she was bi (wanna try?) she said, 'Maybe. Yeah.' "

I'm fully aware that there are many of you out there who hear this sort of thing and freak the fuck out because you think that the lines shouldn't be blurred or that it somehow reflects badly on you (the hardcore lesbian) because Lohan's lesbianism isn't concrete.

I don't understand it, but I'm aware. And for the record, if you didn't figure it out by this time, I don't care who you date or how you want to be labeled as long as you're true to yourself. Personally, I prefer queer because it's pretty ambiguous and can encompass as much or as little as you'd like it to. For those of you out there who knew in the second grade you were gay: Congrats. I envy you. It took me much, much longer to realize that I liked the ladies. Much longer. Like, decades later. But ultimately, in a perfect world, it wouldn't really matter if you came out after your fifth-grade softball practice or after your third divorce from a dude.

I was 26 when I had my first serious oh-my-god-this-is-amazing-where-have-you-been feeling. I'm a late bloomer, this I know. When tentimesfast and I were getting to know each other, she would tell me stories of her youngish youth and her dalliances and I would be envious. To know that much of yourself when you're that young is something I will always admire.

Now, when I was experiencing said oh-my-god-this-is-amazing-where-have-you-been feeling, I was um, engaged to a dude. And at the time, purposely putting off planning the wedding or actually setting a date. I didn't want to get married and I didn't see a future with this guy, who was and still is (as far as I know) a kind, gentle dude. We just weren't the best pair. And I wanted something more. Which is why every relationship I had had with a guy didn't work out quite the way I wanted it to; because I wanted more. The more being, um, lady parts and lady communication and all around lady-goodness. I just didn't know this yet.

I broke it off with the dude and started dating (albeit long distancely) The Wifey. What followed, you asked? Well, a shitty aftermath with the dude. Realizing this liking girls wasn't a "phase." Coming out. Losing friends. Having to stand up for myself when it felt the whole world was against me. Balancing a relationship against the backdrop of my shaky life. All that and more. I suppose out of all that I expected to lose some friends. After all, a good number were religious. One told me that I should have known how she would have reacted since I knew "how we were raised." Minus the fact that I stood by her during her stupid mistakes with men, the miscarriage no one else knew about and filing for bankruptcy, among many others, this was her take on it. So, fine, I told myself. I have other friends, more progressive and understanding friends, right? Well, sort of. Some were OK with it, but haven't mentioned anything about it since and some are still struggling with acceptance. But what really shook me during this time was one person in particular. She's an ex of tentimesfast, who by this time was my closest friend.

When tentimesfast and her were together (albeit long distancey) one of the many things they'd discuss was me. I didn't mind it, that is until 10xfast would give me commentary from Ex and her "thoughts" on me. Apparently, she was envious that I was getting close to 10xfast and flat out didn't like me. Even though 10xfast would ENSURE Ex that I was indeed not interested in taking her girlfriend away and I was taken, it would fall on deaf ears. Ex would say shitty things about me to 10xfast, who would try to get her onto new subjects but would usually fail. This didn't last for a few weeks, it lasted for months. Ex had never met me, and yet thought that I wasn't really queer or that I was trying to steal her girlfriend.

I suppose I was stupid in thinking that lesbians would welcome me with open arms. Just because I was newly out and would have loved a little bit of support, didn't mean it was going to come in the form of a long distance bitch. I know this now. And if anything, it taught me that I should never follow her "example." Note: There's a very good chance that Ex could possibly read this post, and I hope she does. I hope she realizes that her behavior was pretty cunty and that in the future, it would behoove her to not make the same mistake again. But from the stories I've heard about her since, it sounds as if she's going to be that way forever. Which is sad.

A friend of mine recently told me she's dating a woman, which I already knew about and was somewhat involved in orchestrating. I'm elated. The two of them are happy, amid all the mess that can sometimes surround a new relationship, and I'm proud she's telling important people in her life. It's a beautiful thing when we can move beyond our own shit and be there for our friends.

So, Lindsay: I could care less if you want to stay with Sam or decide to start dating a duder again. It's your deal, not mine and I have no room to judge. (Of course, I love you and Sam together, but again, your decision.)

My sentiments exactly

2008-11-11T15:46:00.002-05:00

All's fair in love and war

2008-11-09T16:45:00.002-05:00

Or is it?

Highlights

2008-11-04T14:50:00.001-05:00

There are a few sites that I visit daily, and I'm completely loyal to those, but there comes a time when you need some new perspectives to read, right? Here are some bloggers and their sites that I've been enjoying this week:

Femmeismygender.blogspot.com is written by a lovely femme in the United Kingdom (sexy, no?). Her cock-sure partner, Holden, writes packingvocals.blogspot.com. If you are interested in reading about dyke sex and how to pack, along with other queer tidbits, these are your blogs.

Alternately, sinnerviewer.blogspot.com writes about her rockin' girlfriend, random funny business and what it's like to be a parent, a D and how living in Hotlanta is. She also contributes at lesbiatopia.com.

Why can't I live in NYC or Seattle ...

2008-11-04T14:49:00.002-05:00

Because then, according to Gothamist, I could get a free Silver Bullet vibrator. You just have to bring in your voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast your vote on Nov. 4 and Babeland will HOOK YOU UP. Duders, you'll get a lovely sleeve too.

Take me back, P.M. Dawn

2008-11-04T14:47:00.001-05:00

That's right. I can't deny it. I effing LOVE this song. It's not queer in the slightest, but it certainly could be, and that's good enough for me.

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss - P.M. Dawn

Listen to Smarty Pants

2008-11-04T14:13:00.001-05:00

Shine, baby, shine

2008-11-03T17:18:00.001-05:00

Happy Almost-Election Day!

Shine - Cyndi Lauper

Tug back the hood

2008-10-28T19:32:00.002-04:00

Ok, this is good stuff. I knew Amy Sedaris was funny, but watching her demonstrate vaginal cleansing on a felt vagina for Chelsea Handler is just too much fun. And educational! Who knew.

Kid's roles in proposition 8

2008-10-28T18:58:00.001-04:00

What do you think?

You a blogger? Click on the image!

2008-10-27T18:00:00.003-04:00

Because you wanted the explanation to come from her

2008-10-27T16:46:00.002-04:00

God, this is an old story, but hearing Rachel Maddow explain it on her radio show back in the day is worth hearing it again.

Because there is a difference

2008-10-25T17:20:00.003-04:00

I'm finding out that more and more of you are crushing on Rachel Maddow, and I certainly cannot blame you. Here's a vid of her on Jay Leno from a few weeks ago. From her nerdy girl glasses to her Cons, it's all relative why the world is falling for Ms. Maddow.

P.S. It takes about ten seconds for the video to go from blacky-color-blurbs to actual video. Be patient!

Because I mentioned them earlier ...

2008-10-23T19:28:00.001-04:00

I give you, The Organ's "Brother." You may remember the band from its cameo on "The L Word," when Shane met Carmen. ... Mmmm. Shane and Carmen.

I'm going to say it again

2008-10-23T14:51:00.002-04:00

If you haven't seen "For The Bible Tells Me So," the documentary about the clash between homosexuality and religion, do so. Or, at least watch the awesome preview below and think about it. I've said before, I grew up Baptist, not Southern Baptist (the "liberal cousin," as Baptists call them) and I've seen first-hand the fear and anger that comes from preachers at the pulpit. If you grew up the same way, you know the fear and baggage that comes with hearing something so many times and trying to find your way — truthfully — out of it. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with how I feel about everything and how to find my way out of it.

Taking it thirteen steps in the wrong direction, Focus on the Family is still touting it's "Love Won Out" shit. From the Denver Post:

"Focus on the Family founder and psychologist James Dobson has said that homosexuality is a disorder, despite the contrary opinion reached by the American Psychiatric Association in 1973. Dobson also said there is no conclusive evidence that homosexuality is inherited, although he concedes there might be a biological predisposition. Dobson said there are more than 800 known former gay and lesbian individuals who have found "wholeness in their newfound heterosexuality.'"

Even beyond that, Tyra Banks is looking for ex-gays for an upcoming show. Ah, the delights in daytime television never quite stop, do they?

Say it ain't so!

2008-10-23T14:30:00.004-04:00

It figures. The second I like something, it breaks up. Happened with The Organ, Le Tigre (though, that is unconfirmed) and now it could be my lovely LiRo. Well, I like Sam. Lindsay, eh? Below is a short vid of the pair shopping for makeup? (Not quite sure on that one.) Here's an older post from Dlisted, as well. Sigh.

Yikes

2008-10-22T17:47:00.002-04:00

This is some crazy shit. Brandon McInerney is the kid who shot Lawrence King back in February.

"A judge appointed a psychiatrist and a psychologist Tuesday to evaluate 14-year-old murder suspect Brandon McInerney of Oxnard after his defense attorneys asked the court to take the action. McInerney's lawyers, Scott Wippert of United Defense Group of Studio City and Robyn Bramson of North Hollywood, filed the motion requesting that the court appoint a psychiatrist to determine whether the teen is competent to stand trial."

If reports find McInerney isn't competent to stand trial, the district attorney could decide not to challenge the mental health findings. McInerney could be sent to Patton State Hospital to "await the time when he is competent" to stand trial.

McInerney is facing 51 years to life and is being held on $770,000 bail.

The gayer the wedding, the better

2008-10-22T17:06:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure we're posted this vid here before, but I saw it again and felt it wouldn't hurt to repost. Over at feministing.com, it's 8 bloggers in 8 days against Proposition 8!
You can read what the bloggers are saying and follow links to their respective blogs.

Dabbling in heterosexuality

2008-10-22T17:03:00.002-04:00

Perez Hilton has an awesome vid of Ellen talking about Sarah Palin's yearning to support a ban on gay marriage. Chiggedy check it out.

Get cozy

2008-10-21T20:28:00.005-04:00

Before you read this enthralling — but long — story about transgendered children.

"As a toddler, Brandon would scour the house for something to drape over his head—a towel, a doily, a moons-and-stars bandanna he’d snatch from his mother’s drawer. “I figure he wanted something that felt like hair,” his mother later guessed. He spoke his first full sentence at a local Italian restaurant: “I like your high heels,” he told a woman in a fancy red dress. At home, he would rip off his clothes as soon as Tina put them on him, and instead try on something from her closet—a purple undershirt, lingerie, shoes. “He ruined all my heels in the sandbox,” she recalls."

It's the conversation about nurture vs. nature that I find so effing fascinating. That we are hard-wired — or not — for certain behavior and tendencies has been an upfront issue lately, and it very well should be. I cannot fathom for one second how difficult it would be to be a parent and be faced with the many, many decisions that come with having a transgendered child. But I'm thankful that we live in a day and age now where people can find answers, doctors and outlets for what they are going through.

Toward the end of the story, there are two stories about a boy who wanted to be a girl and a girl who wanted to be a boy and what their respective parents did. It's a different ending than the previous story and I'm sure equally as controversial.

"A Boy's Life" is one of the most objective and researched articles I've read about this in a long time. I hope you can take away as much from it as I did. Mmm, food for thought. Yummy.

(Screenshot image taken from theatlantic.com)

Marriage is between party A and party B. Oh, the horror!

2008-10-21T19:48:00.002-04:00

Ah, the joy in watching this video and then reading this reaction over at Huffingtonpost.com. Watch out heteros, if gays are allowed to marry — and stay married, that means you, California — the world will end! Take a looky at this vid and promise me you'll head here to read the sarcastic answer. It's too delightful not too. Like a surprise cupcake!

For all those 'House' lovers

2008-10-21T18:23:00.002-04:00

I'm not the biggest fan of the show, though sometimes when there's a marathon, I'll watch for a few hours. I recently found out that "House" is loosely based on Sherlock Holmes, with the cocaine addiction swapped for a Vicodin one and Watson swapped for Wilson. The show did feature one bisexual character, though she was only on a few episodes after the character was voted off by House as a finalist for his group. Tear. Enjoy the theme song, by Massive Attack.

Teardrop - Massive Attack

I know why you watch Rachel Maddow

2008-10-21T15:07:00.004-04:00

Because she's brilliant, sillies. I started watching Rachel Maddow about a month ago, and was smitten from the get-go. She's chock-full of wit, puts her interviewees at ease and doesn't back down. And wears sexy ladysuits. Ok, that last one is my opinion. Watch her here interview David Frum, former Bush speechwriter and columnist for the National Review online. The dude blinks way too often that is necessarily healthy and looks like he ate a half pan of pot brownies. Maddow takes him on and makes him blink. A lot.

Check out this story about her from the New York Times online.

Fell for them

2008-10-20T18:45:00.002-04:00

I didn't like Lindsay Lohan in the beginning. And, I kind of still don't. But I LOVE her with Samantha Ronson. Especially after SamRo ditched the bleached out "I don't give a fuck" haircut and went short and brunette. Like me. Plus, is there anything hotter than a dyke who can DJ? Think not.

The pair were in my lovely Washington, D.C. neck of the woods this past weekend, though DListed reports they argued the entire train ride from NYC. I wouldn't fret though, how many lesbians do you know who like to argue? That's right, all of them. Enjoy the stupid vid below.

Because laughing feels good

2008-10-20T15:43:00.003-04:00

Some time ago, my best gay friend at work told me to visit failblog.org. I don't think I've laughed so hard at so many things in a long time. We both had our headphones in and sat giggling like school girls trying to muffle our laughter. Sort of. I'm deliciously evil in that I like the site. I can take that label.

The video below is of a happy hetero couple exchanging vows. Until Best Man Fail. Let this be a warning for those of you out there planning your not-hetero wedding ceremonies. Things can happen. Stay away from ledges over water. Simple!

Song of the day

2008-10-20T15:34:00.002-04:00

This mambo jambo is The Knife's "Heartbeats." I can't get it out of my head, so I'm sharing it with you. The band is a sister and brother duo from Sweden. Swell.

Heartbeats - The Knife

Cha-cha-changes

2008-10-19T20:22:00.003-04:00

Many of you may have noticed a bit of a different feel of Ladies Who Munch as of late. Well, even if you haven't, stay tuned.

Tentimesfast has indeed moved further into the bowels of Virginia, leaving me to hold down the fort for the greater Washington D.C. metro area. I'm hoping she'll contribute a few times a month, but I'm looking for someone (or many someones) to blog with me more often.

You don't have to live in the area, because it would be great to get different perspectives, but if you do live nearby, I'd love to hear from you, too. You can write just once, if something is really on your mind, or as often as you'd like, given our agreement. You can e-mail me at trestresfast@gmail.com if you're interested.

Just because

2008-10-19T20:15:00.001-04:00

I can't get enough of Lucinda's "Essence." I imagine she'd make quite the D ...

Essence - Lucinda Williams

Shock

2008-10-19T20:06:00.002-04:00

I don't make it a habit to read parenting columns, but this one caught more than my eye. The Jamaican "parent" is asking: "My 10-year-old son is acting like a girl. I beat him almost every day for this. People tell me he is going to be gay. ..." There's more to the question and more in the answer, but this just makes me sad.

And this makes me uncomfortable ...

2008-10-19T20:04:00.003-04:00

Strange the weird shit you can find on YouTube for "The L Word." This season six "tease" makes me all kinds of squeamy. How'd Ilene get her hot lezzie hands on the pregnant belly from "Juno"?

Regardless, it's coming

2008-10-19T19:59:00.002-04:00

I know I've was disappointed by "The L Word's" last season, though they managed to do something I didn't think could be done. No longer is Jenny the most annoying character, now it's Adele! But as much as I'm weary of the plot lines, character's changing temperaments and too much screen time for Adele, I'm looking forward to the next season.

Savage to Palin: I can be your gay friend

2008-10-16T18:06:00.003-04:00

I love, love, love Dan Savage. His column, "Savage Love" continues to intrigue and scare me (usually both) and I've read at least one of his books, "The Kid: What Happened When My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant." It's good. I plan of reading his other ones, soon. Anyway, I love his message to Sarah Palin. He's concerned by the apparent lack of sex education in the family and wants to help out. Bless his gay heart.

Ellen's No on 8 PSA

2008-10-15T16:23:00.001-04:00

Wished I lived in Cali to vote on this. ...

Those big colorful letters have a powerful voice

2008-10-14T19:19:00.001-04:00

Google apposes anti-gay measure!

Sykes: Knock it off

2008-10-13T19:53:00.000-04:00

Love her.

Add three to that list

2008-10-10T18:26:00.004-04:00

The list of states that allow us queerlies to marry each other, not the list of "Who I'd bang if celebrities were a viable option." (P.S. Mine are Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox and Eva Mendes. Truth.)

No, Connecticut is now an option for those icky spring weddings that everyone is wild about these days. From CNN:

The ruling makes Connecticut the third state, after Massachusetts and California, to decide its constitution mandates treating citizens equally when applying for marriage licenses, regardless of their sexual orientation.

"Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same sex partner of their choice," the ruling said.

"To decide otherwise would require us to apply one set of constitutional principles to gay persons and another to all others. The guarantee of equal protection under the law, and our obligation to uphold that command, forbids us from doing so. In accordance with these state constitutional requirements, same sex couples cannot be denied the freedom to marry."

I love Hillary

2008-10-09T14:54:00.000-04:00

The good stuff

2008-10-09T14:52:00.001-04:00

Not a big fan of Hillary Duff, but this PSA announcement rocks my socks.

bitch needs help!

2008-09-16T16:02:00.004-04:00

It's times like these that I wish I had a list of names so I could hold a fundraising party at my place. I LOVE entertaining and doing it for a good cause is even more fun. But since I have yet to reach Power Lesbian Status, I'm just going to have to settle for posting a vid from teh ladies at bitch.

Queer love for the biopic

2008-09-06T11:53:00.005-04:00

Months ago I read about Gus Van Sant's Harvey Milk biopic "Milk." Milk was the first openly gay duder elected to political office in San Francisco in the late 70s. It's on my list to see at the theater, and it comes out December 5. I love, love, love movies about real-life gays like WHOA.
So who's with me? I'll buy the popcorn. You get the Milk Duds.

And now you're going to hell

2008-09-06T11:24:00.003-04:00

Towleroad has a post about a church in Ohio that is using Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" lyrics as a sermon/sign. It looks like it's lumping those curious kissing drunk girls with all the gays and is sending them all to hell. Decorate your hand basket, ladies, the group is widening.

More fun with server logs

2008-09-05T18:41:00.004-04:00

Hot diggedy damn, do I love reading through our server logs and seeing what key words brought readers to our blog. Tentimesfast has blogged before about this and it's always fucking hilarious, so I'm going to give it a shot. Here goes.

Things I can't answer or don't know where to start:

- how to be a hot butch (perhaps tentimesfast can write up a post about this. Now, if you want to know how to be a hot low femme, well then, *blush* let me take a quick sip of my pinot noir and I'll share my wealth of knowledge with you.)

- i fucked my aunt jane (Oh. My. Well, dear, I'm not sure what to tell you. There will probably be repercussions, and I don't think fucking your aunt Jane was a very good idea. Stick to non-relatives the next time you get the urge. Please.)

- you tube clitoris munching (This deserves a hearty What The Fuck. While I applaud your succinct search terms, I am understandably afraid of you. Munching on a clitoris? I'd rather munch on chips and salsa and showsomelove for the clitoris. Much different.

- "i can japan" (Hmm. Tentimesfast? Is this some music term I'm not familiar with?)

- queer girls fucking men (No, no and no. We don't blog about that sort of thing here. I don't want to write about it or read about it and I'm not sure why you do either. You could be a duder looking for a tell-all on how to score with your queer lady friend and in that case, stop. Just stop. If you're a queer girl looking to fuck a dude so you can answer some questions of your own, I recommend you find a good therapist, talk to your friends or do something other than look for the answer here. Sorry.)

Things we all can enjoy:

- celebian crushes (Of course.)

- northern state queer (A few of us caught the Tegan and Sara show back in November here in D.C. and Northern State opened. I love listening to them at work when I'm annoyed by the total tools in my office.)

- rohan lindsay samantha butch femme (I'm not on the Lindsay/Samantha bus, though Sam did look swell in that stripey green and grey sweater the other day. The Wifey and tentimesfast are on the bus and find them intriguing.)

'Heteroflexible'

2008-09-05T18:09:00.004-04:00

When I heard Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" for the first time, I groaned. Loudly. For starters, I'm not a fan of the sound of it. It grates on my nerves even without adding in the vocals. I don't find it catchy and I'm annoyed when it comes on the radio. And it gets changed. Every time.

The words anger me even more. Maybe I'm just being a bitchy queer but I grow weary of posers, those girls who love to get wiggedy wasted and share a kiss or two with their best gal pal at a bar or party to the delight of the crowd. Disclaimer: Now, I too used to kiss one of my best friends at parties because it was fun and people dug it. I wasn't in love with her, and didn't want it to be anything more than a kiss, but looking back, I probably should have asked myself a few questions about my own sexuality and maybe I would have gotten to this point in my life earlier. Moving on.

The Wifey sent me this article last week from Minneapolis Star Tribune on "heteroflexibility." It's written by Katherine Kerstein who writes about the growing trend of young girls kissing their friends because it's exciting, their boyfriends like it and for a brief few moments, they're the center of attention. Sigh. Kerstein cites the Girls Gone Wild franchise for pushing the "trend" forward along with a few other publications (thanks Marie Claire for calling bisexuality "the erotic new trend"). More sighing. Thing is, bisexuality and whatever the fuck this "trend" is are completely different in my eyes. Kissing your friend for attention is sad, and I did it! Knowing you are truly bisexual is beautiful. There's a difference.

Palin, Schmalin

2008-09-05T16:29:00.002-04:00

Since John McCain announced that Sarah Palin would be his running mate, I've been locked onto CNN, watching the interviews, the debating between reporters and interviewees (god, I love Campbell Brown and watch the clip above to see why).

One of the reasons I'm glued to the TV is over Bristol Palin, Sarah's 17-year-old daughter. Bristol, who is five months along, is engaged to her baby daddy, Levi. The happy couple will have a shot gun wedding and bring the baby up in a Republican love nest and make an honest woman out of Bristol.

Thing is, I wonder if Bristol even had a choice in the matter of remaining pregnant or not. Her mother is a staunchly loud voice for anti-choice and would just love to see Roe v. Wade overturned. Barack Obama has publicly said that the media should stick to focusing on just Sarah. But here's the thing, dear Barack: Your family, whether you like it or not (and especially your children) are a huge reflection on who you are. If you are a anti-choice, pro-abstinence talking, Republican mother of five, having your 17-year-old daughter get knocked up is going to reflect on you. Clearly, her abstinence-only chat I'm assuming she had with Bristol did fall on deaf ears.

Bottom line: I feel sorry for Bristol. Her life will be very different from the one she could have had. Maybe it was her full decision, maybe she was pressured, who knows. She'll be 35 when (or if) her kid graduates from high school. And maybe through this, she'll realize the full power of choice.

Lesbians getting down

2008-09-05T16:11:00.002-04:00

I'm super pumped about Phase Fest this year, seeing as last year was pretty fun, save for some unexpected drama, which I'll spare you all on. I'm planning on heading there for Saturday and possibly Friday as well. Tentimesfast will be there, along with Punk Rock Femme and I'll be escorting my lovely lady, The Wifey. (And to the D who told TW that her hair was awesome the last time we were at Phase, watch out! I've been working out. Or at least I've seen a ton of "Work Out" episodes.)

Hope all you are planning on heading out, and D-ing it up!

Rural

2008-09-05T15:17:00.003-04:00

I blogged earlier about going home to Minnesota for my class reunion and to visit people I haven't seen in a long time. The overall trip was awesome. The class reunion was what I expected, for the most part. Seeing people who have changed a lot and at least one who hadn't changed at all. Seeing the same mannerisms in people, now with 3.5 kids; or seeing physical attributes in the kids was even stranger.

One thing that I didn't do was visit my parents. I was in the area, but never planned on stopping by, as things with them has been stressful and chaotic to say the least. I've talked to my mom twice since then and explained that as long as The Wifey isn't welcome in her home, I won't step foot in it. It's difficult to know when you need to put your foot down and when to step away and let the other person in a bit, but this was one topic I couldn't compromise on. And I made that very clear. We're both very stubborn women, thanks genetics!

My mother's newest idea is to take "baby steps," meaning her and I can talk or exchange e-mails every so often. The other catch is that I don't "throw it in her face." Since I've always been PG or PG-13 with my mom on everything, I asked her to clarify. "Well," she said. "You know that I don't like to hear about you drinking, or that you got drunk or that you are drinking wine." So, I said, you think that I rub it in your face? I thought back to our conversations. I included TW in it, though the most I said about her and I was that we were mulling a small trip to Virginia Beach. "Well, you said that you two were thinking of taking a long weekend together."

Wait, hold up.

THAT was shoving it in her face? Do I have my work cut out for me, or what?

The bottom line is that she mostly feels as though she's going through this all by herself. My dad remains mum on the subject and she's adamantly said that a PFLAG meeting is out of the question. It may seem as though I'm all over the board on this post, but I promise that I'm getting somewhere. And that somewhere is here: For those of us who have parents who live in rural areas, with all the assumed stereotypes, who don't know another gay person, what can we do to help them? I've been so submerged in my life, and being out at work, out to people in my life, out in general that it's difficult for me to imagine not knowing another gay person or knowing how to wrap my mind around it all, from a thousand miles away. Tentimesfast also has parents who live in a rural area and we've talked a bit about the subject. It took her mom about six years to come around and her advice to me was to be patient, though it's hard not to want to slam the door until she comes around.

I know I'm not the only one who is going through something like that, and I certainly won't be the last. It's really hard to be this estranged and to not know which step to take next. I'm going to try harder to understand where she's coming from, and in turn I hopes she does the same.

The gay marriage debate continues

2008-09-04T13:58:00.003-04:00

It's nice to see a columnist for a mostly conservative chain of papers happy about gay marriage, even though it's because she likes weddings in general. The story also delves into the differences between marriage and a domestic partnership, two semi-separate things that I can use some education on. So if you're up for reading a brisk column on the ins and outs of California's law on gay marriage, here's one point of view.

Progress

2008-08-24T20:01:00.005-04:00

My school custodian's name was Al. And Al didn't like kids. At all, really. You'd call his name and he's reply with a hearty "Whaaaaaht?" Al was curmudgeonly and crabby, but if you asked nice enough, he'd give you change (he found) for the pop machine. Al sounds nothing like Brian Bonin, who is going to become Brianna Bonin at Clara Barton Elementary School in Oxford. Neat. What's even neater? The school is actually sending out a letter letting parents know that Brian will soon be Brianna and to pass that knowledge on down to the kiddies. How progressive. Good luck, Brianna.

No looky-loos, please

2008-08-24T16:02:00.002-04:00

I LOVE this story about tourists gawking at the queers in San Francisco. The article talks about how San Fran has always been known to be a touristy area, but the stickler here folks, is that now buses actually drop loads of heteros (and maybe some closeted inquiring gays) off in packs in the Castro district and then picks them up after they've had ample time to hold hands (scare off the lesbians!), take photos (Oh, Bernice, you should have seen this one gay guy, hold on, I have some pics) and well, basically touch and not buy at local delis and restaurants, because you know, San Fran is expensive, it's much cheaper to take shots of the place and pretend to everyone back home you ate there.

Cho Show Glows

2008-08-23T18:44:00.002-04:00

Back in 1994, when Margaret Cho starred in "All American Girl," I was enthralled by her dry sarcasm. Apparently, the producers didn't appreciate it as much as I did, and they and others sent her on a terrible tailspin down Losing Weight and Being Yourself land. Poopy shit on them. Cho's newest endeavor, "The Cho Show" debuted on VH1 Thursday night, but The Wifey and I caught it on LOGO on Monday, which = weird, because VH1 did all this promo stuff and LOGO, well, kind of didn't. Point of the story is that you can catch it on VH1 on Thursdays or on LOGO well, whenever they decide to play it again. To check, visit here, but be warned: LOGO's sked does not make sense in terms of regular viewing times.

AnyWAY, the show is awesome and totally worth tuning it to. She's surrounded by gays, loves the queers and says interesting things to her parents. It's all wonderful. I promise. Bonus: She loves tattoos.

Hallmark debuts the gayest cards. Ever.

2008-08-23T18:36:00.003-04:00

I know I'm late on posting about this, but I'm super excited because Hallmark now cares that you can send the very best in gay congratulations. Towleroad blogged a bit about it, as have many other queer-loving blogs. Now I just need to wait for some lovely ladies or duders to tie the gay knot, because I have an addiction for buying cards for people and occasions that have yet to exist. Maybe I'll just send out the gay cards to the heteros from now on. Scare 'em a bit. Kidding. Sort of. For the full story, check it out.

And just as I was about to post on queers in the Olympics

2008-08-19T11:49:00.002-04:00

Here comes an article about the "Tranny Olympics", and I can't decide if it's offensive or hilarious. Possibly both. Hilarisive.

“Beijing is so over, it's all about the tranny Olympics,” said Patty Island, who, like many of the competitors, declined to give his real name.

Spectators packed a east London pub this week to witness “drag queens” (men dressed as women) — like the 6-foot-7-inch Island in his pink stiletto shoes — and a few "drag kings" (women dressed as men) compete in the limbo, the wet T-shirt contest and the 100-meter high-heel sprint.

Oh, Ilene

2008-08-17T18:45:00.003-04:00

Though the last I heard, the rumor mill was kicking out that the sixth season of "The L Word" was only going to be a half-season (because why do we need all 13 episodes to tie everything up when the M.O. of the show is to just ignore stuff you don't want to bring up ... cough*Papi*cough). And, now Ilene Chaiken has decided to implement product placement.

Alley Hector has a point about such combinations:

"While viewers might actually notice if the program were being interrupted, slick product placement is sure to reach into our brains as mind-numbing subliminal advertising. Pretty soon you'll think if you don't buy Coke, you just aren't gay enough."

As if you weren't aware

2008-08-17T18:35:00.004-04:00

Ellen and Portia wed this Saturday in California. Yay! I've always loved weddings: the cake, the drinking, the dancing, the toasts, the DRESSES. It's a big fat excuse to make a day all about you and your honey and I hope, someday, fingers crossed, I'll get to share my big day with The Wifey. (Shh, don't tell her yet.)

Holy hell, I love archery

2008-08-12T04:46:00.003-04:00

Wow, Yuan Shu Chi looks like a dude (and also shoots charming, dimpled, very butch looks at the camera from time to time). There's my initial insight regarding the awesomeness of Olympic archery, as viewed on the NBC Olympics site because I'm madly in search of anything that doesn't involve Michael Phelps or Kobe Bryant.

You know, initially, I was kind of meh about the archery, but after watching a ton of round of 32 & 16 matches, I started sort of privately cheering on the very dyke-y ones (lots) and I've determined a formula for success:

- It seems to help if you are very "gender neutral" and/or look like someone's very unassuming mom. If you are conventionally attractive, it's good to cover yourself in hats, sunglasses and long-sleeved shirts as if you are playing pro poker and need to hide your business.

- Facial expressions lead to bad scores. Always look like this: :|. Good shot? :|. Bad shot? :|. Win? :|. Lose? :|. Unless you are Yuan Shu Chi, and then you may have emotions.

- Your coach must have his/her collar popped as if it's 2006 in the U.S.

- You may have one side of your collar popped.

- Bucket hats, bucket hats, bucket hats.

- Face chalk? It's for the win.

- If you represent Chinese Taipei/Taiwan, you must be a handsome bastard, possibly with a hipster mullet.

- You must act all sorts of casual, as if you are not a relatively tiny woman (or butch, as the case seems to be a lot of the time) who has sickening accuracy with a deadly weapon.

There you have it: archery is now my best source of big Olympic Ds outside of, say, handball. Or basketball. Or softball. Or weightlifting ... especially weightlifting.

Another kind of reunion

2008-07-30T10:05:00.002-04:00

I won't be posting for a week because I'll be on some much-needed vacation in the Minn. I've got a class reunion to attend to, tattoos to get, driving to do, hopefully some swimming in an actual lake and visiting old friends I haven't seen in years. I'm darn-tootin' excited. When I come back, I'll post about the reunion, and how they react to having a queer kid in their midst. Should be fun, since it was a Baptist school I attended. We shall see.

It's not like Pippi

2008-07-21T08:03:00.002-04:00

Queer, cheerful, riot girl (ish). Do this: sing the chorus to "Goddess Part 2" right now. Or the first two lines. Or the whole song. It's all Liz Phair pop punky fun that's queer with a little less gosh-I'm-so-hip-and-self-aware attitude.

Oooh-uh-oooh-oh-oooh!

Our poet laureate is a mo and other things

2008-07-21T07:01:00.004-04:00

Kay Ryan is the new poet laureate of the United States. She's also a big D.

I think it's somewhat telling that I had to hear about this on a Canadian news program at 3 in the morning. Telling and terribly, terribly, terribly sad.

To this I say: yay, Kay! And boo, American mainstream journalists!

Ryan learned about the honor Monday, when she and her partner of 30 years, Carol Adair, arrived home from the Aspen Ideas Festival to find a phone message from Billington.

"I thought, oh my God, this can mean only one thing," Ryan said, "and the blood ran out of my head."

The next day was a busy one, because she and Adair were scheduled to be remarried, having married the first time in 2004 at City Hall in San Francisco. "We'll have to get the rings re-engraved with the new date," she said.

Heyo!

PRIDE: SATURDAY

2008-07-17T10:48:00.006-04:00

I'm supa late on posting these pictures, but better late than never, right?

Blogger says what?

2008-07-16T23:37:00.003-04:00

Is there some kind of technical issue with Blogger right now? Our images, embedded videos and just about everything else seem to be randomly appearing/disappearing every other time I load the page.

Looking okay for you guys?

We're still here...

2008-07-15T20:05:00.002-04:00

I've blogged about genetic studies about homosexuality before, thanks to Olive Skene Johnson and her fantastic book. Anyway, Slate has an interesting article about the reason homosexuality hasn't evolved itself out. Because when you think about, if roughly 10 percent of the population is queer now, we should be dwindling in numbers since The Beginning Of Time, right? Evolution has shown that natural selection's main goal is to procreate. And procreate. (And, some of those Procreators take that a little too much to heart. *CoughDuggarsCough*)

The article's focus is on duders, but they site a female study that relies on nongenetic factors, but I warn, unless you're super interested in dry medically defining text, you'd be better suited for Curve magazine.