All the better to bite you with, my dear

As at least four of you know, I recently became the owner of Vidor Stanislav Kittenpants*, the cutest pink-nosed brown tiger cat in possibly the whole universe. He sleeps beside me every night, follows me from room to room, and has a hoarse little mew that he never uses.

He also bites. BITES. He bites gently ("slow nom") and he bites so hard that you cry like a little schoolgirl. He bites for no reason whatsoever and stops whenever he feels like it.

And I don't understand why he does it. He has about 200 dollars worth of cat toys. He has 2 separate cardboard claw scratchers, a catnip oil coated cardboard ... bed ... thing, a cat tree, a fur-lined kitteh bed and HIS OWN BEDROOM where he can lounge on his very own FUTON. I play with him every chance I get. Little dude is certainly not understimulated.

Suggestions on how to get him to stop biting? It'll help if the word "precious" appears in your suggestion.

*He's two years old, by the way. And not, in fact, a tiny kitten. So there goes that reason for biting.