If you haven't yet ...

You should all read "The Sexual Spectrum: Why We're All Different" by Olive Skene Johnson. I finally finished it last night and it's so fucking fantastic, you can't tell you're wading through myriad studies on human sexuality.

It's been on of my recommended books in our blog's Good Reads list, but I've been sadly neglectful of updating the list or adding my thoughts, so here's what I think:

In regards to any questions you've had about differences between you and whoever else, Johnson will answer it, in such a way, it's like having a really great cup of coffee with an old friend and she's telling you story after story and you even though you may have some place to go, you stay and listen.

So, go to the library, or Barnes and Noble, or Borders or -- better yet -- your local-run bookstore and get you copy and get comfortable. Heck, I'll send you my dog-eared and underlined copy if you are desperate. Then you can contact me and we can talk about it since I really miss being part of a book club these days.

Annnnd a lolcat

Hey, ever wonder why there aren't more women on The Daily Show?

Ever think it might be because the staff members are douchey frat fucks who think it's rad to replace your desktop background with porn? Ever kind of secretly suspect that maybe Jon Stewart is an insufferable prick? Hey, you were right!

Lauren Weedman (you may remember her as the Blond Correspondent Who Wasn't On For Too Long) has a new book out called A Woman Trapped in a Woman's Body: (Tales from a Life of Cringe), and The Stranger has an excerpt. She makes TDS sound like the SNL offices in the bad old days (which, honestly, those days are probably still going) while simultaneously making herself sound like an unstable ADHD case.

I totally want to have a hundred thousand drinks with her now.

Lessons learned from the On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex

1.) There are 645,000 kinds of orgasm. Try to have them all, preferably at once.

2.) "Suck my tits, you animal!" is a completely rad and valid way of talking dirty to the person you're fucking. It's not cornball by any stretch of the imagination.

3.) "Clitty" is a great thing to say and won't get you punched in the face.

4.) Don't push your partner's boundaries.
4a.) If your partner is butch identified, push away. They're probably unsure of how to eroticize their own bodies and need some help from you. You should try telling them how boys like whatever it is that you want to do to them. That'll help.
4b.) If your partner is trans identified, see 4. Don't push boundaries!
4c.) Actually, 4b applies to butches, too. Sorry, dudes. Confused? No bigs. We didn't mean what we said in the other article.

5.) Do it for daddy. Like, a whole lot.

6.) You only have one partner? God, you FUCKING PROLE!

7.) 9 million years of publishing, and all we could find were these 20 random photos. Also, we're going to just sort of toss them around the book in weird spots.

8.) Fist, fist, fist your way to freedom.

9.) Bad porn = hott porn!

10.) Slice, dice, burn. Lather, rinse, repeat.

11.) BDSM is pretty much the way to go. Y'all aren't into that? Uh ... fuck.

12.) How-to: seamlessly transition from massage into foot worship in one easy chapter!

13.) One book, 309 pages, and like, 6 contributors. Make of that what you will.

14.) Michelle Tea is pretty much a modern era Beat writer and is the best thing to happen to this whole book.

15.) Alternate titles:
On Our Backs Guide to the Lesbian Sex That Happens at Polar Opposite Ends of the Experience Spectrum and Nothing In Between

On Our Backs Guide to Acting Out That Dream That You Had That You Won't Tell Anyone About, Not Even Your Girlfriend

On Our Backs Guide to Becoming a Sexual Revolutionary

On Our Backs Love Letter to How Awesome We Were Once Back in the Day

On Our Backs Guide to How Busted Some of Our Models Were. Seriously, Dude, You Wouldn't, Would You?

On Our Backs Guide to How to Sell Your Magazine to Some Corporation and Not Publish Anymore But Not Actually Tell Your Readers Anything About That

On Our Backs Guide to OW, THAT FUCKING HURTS, god, SAFE WORD! SAFE WORD!

On Our Backs Guide to Look, I'm Not Going to Do That. Yes, I Know I Said I Would For Your Birthday. Sorry.

On Our Backs Guide to Couples Therapy