Lesbian Marketplace

I've often wondered where, if any, the advertising agencies' focus was when it came to lesbians. If I didn't know any better, I would have a smattering of okay-to-bad lesbian films and L Word to base my view of what a lesbian is and what she wants. Of course, for the post's sake, I'll forgo any friend's/girlfriend's thoughts -- we're focusing on what the media is telling us to be and want, sillies!

Needless to say, I was intrigued by Out Front's recent post about figuring out what, exactly, lesbians want.

Fact is, lesbians love to wine, dine and (attention Ad Agencies) spend money, and although the gay marketing strategies are far and wide, they don't really have that special touch when it comes to marketing to lesbians. You know, that special, special touch.

Don't like lesbian? Try Gayelle on for size

This is a bit old, but Dlisted has an interesting post about a supposed new underground movement. Apparently, lesbians didn't like being called lesbians and decided to add yet another term to the soup. I'm not sure what I think, because my beef is with the word partner and not lesbian, but heck, that's another blog post for another day. Gayelle just sounds sort of weird.

You can check out all the goodness on the actual site here.

Oh, I'll march on your nation's capitol

Not the biggest fan of much on Logo, including "The Big Gay Sketch Show," but when I saw this on feministing.com, I couldn't resist posting about it. Especially since tentimesfast laughed harder than I did.

I give you Lesbian Phone Sex. Delightful!

Procrastination

I procrastinate, drag my feet, whatever you wanna call it, I do it. Eventually, that is.

And today, what's keeping me from focusing on work, catching up on correspondence and ironing the HUGE pile of clean clothes on my floor (well, they were clean weeks ago) is this story asking where all the lesbian feminists went. Feministing first posted something about, moderately, in the Weekly Feminist Reader and now I can't stop theorizing where the lesbian feminists went.

Mostly, because, I'm still wondering where all the lesbians AND/OR feminists are, so it's difficult to think that there's a group of the hybrids of 'em out there. But, you should check that story out. Everything else can wait for now.

And I'm already sick of them

There's been mixed reactions to Portia deRossi and Joely Richardson's lesbian couple characters on Nip/Tuck and this story makes me ill. Apart from the vapid display of photo after photo and the strange captions under them, the reasoning behind the choice for the women to play the roles was less than cool:

Richardson: "I think playing a lesbian turns men on. When my character Julia was the boring, married housewife, always chopping vegetables, people were sweet and lovely.

"But now I'm playing her as a sexy ***** with a big padded bra and a short skirt, I get a very different reaction.

"I think men respond to the sexiness of two women being together."

Hmm.

XBOX game = lesbian porn?

The game, "Mass Effect," is blowing up in the news today over the possible sex scene a female character and a female alien can have. The two characters can be manipulated to "caress" and "kiss" each other. Interestingly (or rather, not) there is no same-sex shenanigans betwixt any of the male characters.

The news isn't that the female characters can partake in some same sex moments -- because we all know that many games geared toward adults (and some that just aren't) are known to slip in the option of sex scenes. But, the news is that Singapore is banning it because of the "lesbian intimacy" and Singapore says a big, hearty 'NO' to anything having to do with homosexuality.

I'm not sure what emotions to apply here. I'm angry that it's okay in America and most elsewhere to have two female characters behave this way in a game and that you would never, ever see two dude characters acting the same way (all between the killings and the gore, mind you). Hell would freeze OVER.

On the other hand, I'm intrigued. I don't like video games. They bore me and I don't understand the enjoyment. BUT I like everything lesbian, albeit an alien and a She gettin' some action in along the way. So you can see my predicament.

But the best part of the whole story is that the alien, after the action is over, says "By the gods, that was incredible, commander."

Add that to the list of pillow talk. HA!

Aww, but they are a very cute couple

Hookup/OurChart has a post about this CST article on a queer couple who were voted "cutest couple" of their senior class. Ruckus ensued. School admins eliminated the category (who doesn't have a fucking "cutest couple" category, you fucks?) and then changed their minds. The picture of the cute queer girls could run in the yearbook, along with the photos of the hetero couples who failed to be as popular cute.

You know what I got in high school? Voted "Most Alternative". I'm not even kidding. Somewhere, in a yearbook that I don't even have, there's a picture of a 17-year-old tentimesfast with purple hair. I am engaged in the pretty much non-alternative, mainstream sport of hacky sack with a punk rock dude in the photo. Right. You can stop liking me at ANY TIME NOW.

That said, I'm still impressed with the level of outness and radness on the part of any high school kid that's happily 'mo enough to get voted "Cutest Couple" in a high school yearbook. Granted, it's in (or near) Chicago, and not in some podunk town in West Virginia, but still: brave.

Must. Attend. Parties.

I have HIGH hopes for A Different Kind of Ladies Night. I heart the gay boys, and the bar scene they have in D.C. is kind of out of control, but it just isn't the same as walking into a bar and having it be mostly (or all) women. Getting served right away and not having to clean the toilet seat off before peeing is also REALLY nice. I'm going to see if the wifey wants to go to an event or two or three and at least give kudos to the chicky who started ADKLN.

The lesbians like organization

And so do most gay men I know, so take advantage. I started visiting thenewgay.net because tentimesfast mentioned the neat Hug-In event at Rite-Aid last week that one of the site's creators organized. Thenewgay.net is a social Web site for Washingtonians and also has a few posts about lesbian events in the City. Click on the "what is the new gay?" tag on the left to find out more. There will always be a soft spot in my little heart for fledgling queer sites. Aww. ...

Save yourself

And don't waste your time watching "Puccini For Beginners."

Directed and written by Maria Maggenti ("The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love") you'd think you'd be getting some good lesbian action. Not so.

I know, I know, it's bad queer karma to go against the lesbian flow, which, *gasp* is co-produced by LOGO and was praised by afterellen.com, but this particular film lets all parties down in the end. And by end, I mean beginning, middle and end.

Allegra, played by Elizabeth Reaser (the pregnant sister on "The Family Stone") is conflicted. Conflicted about telling her girlfriend of nine months she loves her, which gets the girlfriend upset and consequently g-friend dumps her, and then poor, poor Allegra goes to a party, mostly at the begging her her best (straight) friend and meets Dude. Dude read Allegra's book (let's not get into that part) and tells her so. She FALLS right away. Did I mention she mentions that she's a lesbian a few times and has/had a girlfriend minutes before meeting Dude.

But then, after sleeping with Dude, she meets Gal at a movie. Gal eventually "flirts" enough with Allegra that she falls for Gal, sleeps with Gal, gives Gal good, good lesbian sex and consequently, finds herself in a relationship with both Gal and Dude. Thing is, Gal and Dude were in a relationship themselves, broke up because Dude wouldn't propose to Gal and ironically (see, this is where the hilarity begins) are both dating Allegra. Additionally, Allegra means happy in Spanish. That was a freebie.

I'd love to go into the entanglements that Allegra finds herself in, the way everyone tells her she's conflicted even though the character never quite seems conflicted, and how it is never really mentioned why on earth she falls for such a TOOL, but I'm just so damn tired of watching "lesbian" films where the lesbian isn't really that much of a lesbian. (Aside from "Kissing Jessica Stein," which I LOVE.) I mean, that's why I'm watching the film. For the LESBIANS. *Ahem*

Gah.

Invisible

Conversation while waiting in a long ass line for the bathroom at Phase Fest:

Cougar No. 1: "See, like most of these girls you KNOW are lesbians, because of how, you know, they look, but that one (drunkly gesturing toward me) doesn't look like a lesbian. How would anyone know?"

Cougar No. 2: "I don't know, ask?"

I should add the Lesbian Cougars were together, as in together, together. But it brought up something that has been on my mind for awhile: Invisibility. I dress "straight," ergo, (see low femme) look "straight" so people don't always understand or see me. And when I mention that I have a girlfriend, they think I'm old-fashioned. Ugh.

It's difficult to not have words that fully explain what your significant other is to you. I refuse to use Life Partner. Or Partner. Unless I'm in a cowgirl mood, which, Howdy Partner.

Suggestions?