And the best part of this is

First of all, it's no secret that I think Hillary Clinton is an amazing woman. Second, she's fighting hard for good medical care for women and in this short video, she listens politely to Rep. Christopher Smith (R-NJ), and it's almost as though she's imagining rolling up his tie in a ball and shoving it down his throat. No? Just me?

But the best part is that after she listens, she talks calmly and slowly like my mom used to do when she was very, very angry with me. It's as if Hillary would have liked to say, "Congressman, I deeply respect your passionate concern and views, but STFU."

Mixed bag

So much to blog about! Here's a rundown of what I've had jumbling in my head as of late:

This guy makes the devil look like your bestie:
Rockstar Energy Drink co-founder and and conservative radio host Michael Savage: "You want me to tel you what makes me sick? When I see two puffy white males kissing each other, I want to puke. When I see two women kissing each other, on the lips, as lovers, I want to vomit." (Thanks to gayrights.change.org)

Goodbye Bea Arthur, we'll miss you:
Bitch magazine's homage. The Associated Press' coverage and CNN's video.

A bestie told me about this chick's blog and though I haven't had much time to explore, it looks promising. PLUS, who doesn't like femmes?

Oprah.com's strange story on why women are leaving men to be with women. It's an epidemic!

Iowa is unsure what will happen now that gay marriage is legal. The whole state is in a state of confusion! Get it? STATE of confusion? Eh, it's early.

Don't mess with us

Dude. When you post "We are not a gay bar!" on your outside bar sign, people are going to get mad. Not to mention, it's unlawful. Pbbbbbttttttt.

Marriage can be so gay

I'm still sort of frustrated that I don't have a definite answer when random friends decide, for whatever reason, to ask if my girlfriend and I are getting married. First, it's not legal in the state we live in (Virginia) and second, it's sort of presumptious. I get that they're attempting to be progressive (or are they?) but it's still a little on the weird side.

I go back and forth from kind of liking that we can't get married, that we're not like the hetero population and that, in my mind, our relationship is much more equal and exciting than a hetero one, to thinking someday I'd like to get married, privately and then have a big fucking party afterwards and invite my parents and smile for days at their faces when they open the mail. Basically, my two issues are explained in this 30-second clip from "Queer As Folk."

P.S. Read Bilerico's post on How Gay Marriage put an end to Gay Sex.

Because inquiring minds want to know

Recently (OK, two minutes ago) I was reading an article on gay sex (research, people!) and I noticed a MeetGayCouples.com ad. I clicked on it and it's this whole social networking site for gay and lesbian couples, say WHAT? So, I want to know this:

1. Are there any lesbian couples on the site? All I see are many, many pictures of duders. 24 in fact.
2. I'm super curious to join because I want more lesbian friends. But that can lead to more lesbian drama. So, hmmm.
3. Must we as a community create sites like this to find couples? I mean, I'm assuming there's no MeetHeteroCouples.com. Now that I type that, it's probably out there.

Damn.

The last lesbian commune on the left

Fearnet: your source for shitty, free horror films! Provided you have OnDemand and are bored. Very, very bored. Or are such a huge horror film fan that you don't give a damn about what you're watching.

As I've said before, I'm a fan of the horror genre. I'll take it where I can get it, be it rad, original Asian horror, low-rent but high-on-the-scares American 1970s horror or low-rent and amazingly stupid American remake of rad, original Asian horror. Whatever. I'm a sucker.

So, when the the re-imagining (if you will) of Friday the 13th was released, I checked out the original on Fearnet for funzies. This year's version is, by the way, effing terrible. I hadn't seen the original in a long while, and wanted to refresh my memory for the remake/re-imagining/crapfest that is the 2009 version. NO NEED, as it turns out! It's just that bad!

While we were sitting through the endless crapfest of previews for the new F13, we saw a preview for a remake of The Last House on the Left. Now, if you've been in front of a tv at all in the last few weeks, you know it's due in theaters on March 13.

Cue Fearnet! As always, Fearnet is out makin' that dolla and for a few hot minutes, they were running the real thang: Wes Craven's 1972 gorefest The Last House on the Left.

I watched! I couldn't help myself. As a young 'mo, my parents would never let me rent LHH, even though they let me rent pretty much every other awful, bloody '80s horror film out there. You know what? They were probably being quite sensible. Remind me to call my mom and tell her exactly that, ok?

The 1972 LHH is ... something. Here's a fun fact from IMDB: one of the film's alternate titles was Sex Crime of the Century. Let's amend that shall we? Dyke Sex Crime of the Century! Or maybe Forced Ladyparts Rape, like it's a weird Japanese porn.

Synopsis: A high school chick goes out with her friend to the Big City to see a concert for her birthday. As they head to the show, a radio report reveals that some Dangerous Men have escaped from prison. In the Big City, the chicks attempt to buy some "grass" from one of the Dangerous Men. Mayhem ensues. And by Mayhem, I mean death. And lesbian rape. And forced lesbian copulation. And also regular, heterosexual rape. Also, someone's peen is bitten off by an angry woman. Also drugs! Also a silly, happy score accompanies this whole thing! After that, revenge! And that guy who played the angry karate instructor ("Sweep the leg!") in The Karate Kid is in it!

If you come away with anything about the original, it's one thing: lesbian rape. The IMDB FAQ for the film even includes this question: "Why isn't the forced lesbian scenes in any release?" I mean, awesome. Good question. Not "Why is this film a sack of shit?" or "Why the fucking hell did anyone sit through this?"

And now this: I'm terribly curious to see if the remake (due any day now!) includes, you know, any of the violent lady-on-lady sexual assault that the original included. There's also a character in the original who apparently turned into a big 'mo while her boyfriend was in prison. Will we see that?

Here's my guess: fucking absolutely no way on earth. Here's another guess: the new version of LHH will somehow, some way end up being WORSE than the original.

Who's with me?