Lessons learned from the On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex

1.) There are 645,000 kinds of orgasm. Try to have them all, preferably at once.

2.) "Suck my tits, you animal!" is a completely rad and valid way of talking dirty to the person you're fucking. It's not cornball by any stretch of the imagination.

3.) "Clitty" is a great thing to say and won't get you punched in the face.

4.) Don't push your partner's boundaries.
4a.) If your partner is butch identified, push away. They're probably unsure of how to eroticize their own bodies and need some help from you. You should try telling them how boys like whatever it is that you want to do to them. That'll help.
4b.) If your partner is trans identified, see 4. Don't push boundaries!
4c.) Actually, 4b applies to butches, too. Sorry, dudes. Confused? No bigs. We didn't mean what we said in the other article.

5.) Do it for daddy. Like, a whole lot.

6.) You only have one partner? God, you FUCKING PROLE!

7.) 9 million years of publishing, and all we could find were these 20 random photos. Also, we're going to just sort of toss them around the book in weird spots.

8.) Fist, fist, fist your way to freedom.

9.) Bad porn = hott porn!

10.) Slice, dice, burn. Lather, rinse, repeat.

11.) BDSM is pretty much the way to go. Y'all aren't into that? Uh ... fuck.

12.) How-to: seamlessly transition from massage into foot worship in one easy chapter!

13.) One book, 309 pages, and like, 6 contributors. Make of that what you will.

14.) Michelle Tea is pretty much a modern era Beat writer and is the best thing to happen to this whole book.

15.) Alternate titles:
On Our Backs Guide to the Lesbian Sex That Happens at Polar Opposite Ends of the Experience Spectrum and Nothing In Between

On Our Backs Guide to Acting Out That Dream That You Had That You Won't Tell Anyone About, Not Even Your Girlfriend

On Our Backs Guide to Becoming a Sexual Revolutionary

On Our Backs Love Letter to How Awesome We Were Once Back in the Day

On Our Backs Guide to How Busted Some of Our Models Were. Seriously, Dude, You Wouldn't, Would You?

On Our Backs Guide to How to Sell Your Magazine to Some Corporation and Not Publish Anymore But Not Actually Tell Your Readers Anything About That

On Our Backs Guide to OW, THAT FUCKING HURTS, god, SAFE WORD! SAFE WORD!

On Our Backs Guide to Look, I'm Not Going to Do That. Yes, I Know I Said I Would For Your Birthday. Sorry.

On Our Backs Guide to Couples Therapy