STFU E-Harmony

I've never tried online dating, as I have certain fears I was never able to overcome. However, many of my friends and The Wifey's friends have indeed successfully found love, or at least some like with a bit of sex mixed in by fishing for honeys online. That sounds absurb, ignore it. Moving on.

E-Harmony was the only site that didn't allow queers to join its Christian, overly occupied with saving sex until marriage, heterosexual boringness. And Eric McKinley filed a complaint against the online matchmaker ("Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match" ... sorry, fell into "Fiddler oon the Roof. Many apologies.) in 2005. From NBC:

"Online dating service eHarmony is adding another personality trait to its 29 dimensions of computability. The California-based company will begin providing same-sex matches under as part of a settlement with New Jersey's Civil Rights Division.

Under terms of the settlement, the company can create a new or differently named Web site for same-sex singles. The company can also post a disclaimer saying its compatibility-based matching system was developed from research of married heterosexual couples."

But here's where I lose interest. E-Harmony has, um, standards that I would probably never agree to in the first place. And, there are a TON of queer online dating sites. Why would you want to join E-Harmony? I suppose that from what someone said in the comments that because they never really said they were only marketing to straighties, they were being discrimatory. In any event, McKinley won $5,000 and got a one-year membership. Methinks he won't find Mr. Right.

A Day Without a Gay

The newest battle waging against the Prop 8 results and other marriage amendments is the Day Without A Gay on Dec. 10. Those who are interested in participating, should call in gay to work and volunteer at a local organization. Thing is, I never even call in sick to work, so calling in gay doesn't seem to be my kind of pie, but I'm interested. Why it's a Wednesday, I have no idea. Can't it be a Friday? Hmm. Maybe I'll just have to call in gay a few times before the year is up.

If you want to get an idea of where to volunteer during the day, go here.

More on Wanda!

Holy lesbian hot pants: Wanda Sykes is gay!

I love, love, love Wanda. She makes me giggle harder than a schoolgirl with a crush on her lady English professor. And The Wifey always said, "She has got that vibe" whenever we'd watch Lady Sykes on the tellie. And know we know for sure.

Prop 8 protest in Washington, D.C.

We weren't able to make the Prop 8 protest, but we can live vicariously (and hopefully victoriously) through those who were able to make it. Washington Blade has a pictorial up here.

Yup, your job sucks

Take a look at Google's office building in NYC. And then cry. Cry because your office doesn't offer you every kind of breakfast cereal. Cry because there's no Lego play area in your office. And cry because you can't play ping pong during your break.

I'm thinking of buying some new art

There's been a ton of chatter about the Charlize Theron and Nicole Kidman film about the first post-op male to female transsexual. Nicky is set to play Einar Wegener (who becomes Lili Elbe) and Charlie is set to play Einar's wife, Gerda. This all takes place in the 1930s and I hope this film doesn't flop like a flounder.

But what is way more interesting is Gerda's hot, hot lesbian art. Check it out over at Dorothy Surrenders but be warned it is very much NSFW. Though, it would make a darn swell screensaver. The tie for my favorite goes to the hoopskirt adventure and the fingerfucking on the bed.

But, Showtime, you didn't tell me anything

I hate when previews don't show me anything. I feel it is a waste of film, time, use of actors and actresses and a failure of what the word preview means. It's POOPY SHIT when channels do this. And when I write "this," I specifically mean what Showtime did in the vid below. I get that it's supposed to be mysterious, but c'mon, where's the heat? Where's the passionate yelling paired with the passionate love making? Where's the food fights and the overturned tables and the random straight girl dalliances? WHERE?

I hate to admit that I'm looking forward to the next season of "The L Word," and hope that Adele (who I didn't see in the preview) is gone. Actually, I can help with the script in that area. After the last season, Adele hired someone to find Papi, found her and married her in Canada. They lived happily ever after. In Canada. Far away. I don't even care about the annoyance of Jenny anymore. I think that was the plan all along from Ilene: She wanted us to like Jenny, so she set out to create a new, more annoying and baffling character and came up with Adele. Delightful!

Getting beyond the jargon

Like many of you, I was saddened by Prop 8 passing. If you're wondering what can happen now, check out Melissa Griffin's article on the ins and outs of gay marriage in terms of the law.

What did you do this weekend?

This is where The Wifey and I went — Great Falls indeed.

Maybe it's just me, maybe it's not

Dlisted has a Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ro post up regarding if Lohan is a lesbian:

"Even though HoHan is currently doing the labia lambada with SamRo, she doesn't consider herself a full-time lezzie. When asked if she was a lezzzzzzzbian, she said, "No." But when asked if she was bi (wanna try?) she said, 'Maybe. Yeah.' "

I'm fully aware that there are many of you out there who hear this sort of thing and freak the fuck out because you think that the lines shouldn't be blurred or that it somehow reflects badly on you (the hardcore lesbian) because Lohan's lesbianism isn't concrete.

I don't understand it, but I'm aware. And for the record, if you didn't figure it out by this time, I don't care who you date or how you want to be labeled as long as you're true to yourself. Personally, I prefer queer because it's pretty ambiguous and can encompass as much or as little as you'd like it to. For those of you out there who knew in the second grade you were gay: Congrats. I envy you. It took me much, much longer to realize that I liked the ladies. Much longer. Like, decades later. But ultimately, in a perfect world, it wouldn't really matter if you came out after your fifth-grade softball practice or after your third divorce from a dude.

I was 26 when I had my first serious oh-my-god-this-is-amazing-where-have-you-been feeling. I'm a late bloomer, this I know. When tentimesfast and I were getting to know each other, she would tell me stories of her youngish youth and her dalliances and I would be envious. To know that much of yourself when you're that young is something I will always admire.

Now, when I was experiencing said oh-my-god-this-is-amazing-where-have-you-been feeling, I was um, engaged to a dude. And at the time, purposely putting off planning the wedding or actually setting a date. I didn't want to get married and I didn't see a future with this guy, who was and still is (as far as I know) a kind, gentle dude. We just weren't the best pair. And I wanted something more. Which is why every relationship I had had with a guy didn't work out quite the way I wanted it to; because I wanted more. The more being, um, lady parts and lady communication and all around lady-goodness. I just didn't know this yet.

I broke it off with the dude and started dating (albeit long distancely) The Wifey. What followed, you asked? Well, a shitty aftermath with the dude. Realizing this liking girls wasn't a "phase." Coming out. Losing friends. Having to stand up for myself when it felt the whole world was against me. Balancing a relationship against the backdrop of my shaky life. All that and more. I suppose out of all that I expected to lose some friends. After all, a good number were religious. One told me that I should have known how she would have reacted since I knew "how we were raised." Minus the fact that I stood by her during her stupid mistakes with men, the miscarriage no one else knew about and filing for bankruptcy, among many others, this was her take on it. So, fine, I told myself. I have other friends, more progressive and understanding friends, right? Well, sort of. Some were OK with it, but haven't mentioned anything about it since and some are still struggling with acceptance. But what really shook me during this time was one person in particular. She's an ex of tentimesfast, who by this time was my closest friend.

When tentimesfast and her were together (albeit long distancey) one of the many things they'd discuss was me. I didn't mind it, that is until 10xfast would give me commentary from Ex and her "thoughts" on me. Apparently, she was envious that I was getting close to 10xfast and flat out didn't like me. Even though 10xfast would ENSURE Ex that I was indeed not interested in taking her girlfriend away and I was taken, it would fall on deaf ears. Ex would say shitty things about me to 10xfast, who would try to get her onto new subjects but would usually fail. This didn't last for a few weeks, it lasted for months. Ex had never met me, and yet thought that I wasn't really queer or that I was trying to steal her girlfriend.

I suppose I was stupid in thinking that lesbians would welcome me with open arms. Just because I was newly out and would have loved a little bit of support, didn't mean it was going to come in the form of a long distance bitch. I know this now. And if anything, it taught me that I should never follow her "example." Note: There's a very good chance that Ex could possibly read this post, and I hope she does. I hope she realizes that her behavior was pretty cunty and that in the future, it would behoove her to not make the same mistake again. But from the stories I've heard about her since, it sounds as if she's going to be that way forever. Which is sad.

A friend of mine recently told me she's dating a woman, which I already knew about and was somewhat involved in orchestrating. I'm elated. The two of them are happy, amid all the mess that can sometimes surround a new relationship, and I'm proud she's telling important people in her life. It's a beautiful thing when we can move beyond our own shit and be there for our friends.

So, Lindsay: I could care less if you want to stay with Sam or decide to start dating a duder again. It's your deal, not mine and I have no room to judge. (Of course, I love you and Sam together, but again, your decision.)

My sentiments exactly

All's fair in love and war

Or is it?

Highlights

There are a few sites that I visit daily, and I'm completely loyal to those, but there comes a time when you need some new perspectives to read, right? Here are some bloggers and their sites that I've been enjoying this week:

Femmeismygender.blogspot.com is written by a lovely femme in the United Kingdom (sexy, no?). Her cock-sure partner, Holden, writes packingvocals.blogspot.com. If you are interested in reading about dyke sex and how to pack, along with other queer tidbits, these are your blogs.

Alternately, sinnerviewer.blogspot.com writes about her rockin' girlfriend, random funny business and what it's like to be a parent, a D and how living in Hotlanta is. She also contributes at lesbiatopia.com.

Why can't I live in NYC or Seattle ...

Because then, according to Gothamist, I could get a free Silver Bullet vibrator. You just have to bring in your voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast your vote on Nov. 4 and Babeland will HOOK YOU UP. Duders, you'll get a lovely sleeve too.

Take me back, P.M. Dawn

That's right. I can't deny it. I effing LOVE this song. It's not queer in the slightest, but it certainly could be, and that's good enough for me.

Listen to Smarty Pants

Shine, baby, shine

Happy Almost-Election Day!