Tells me so

Feministing included this in their Weekly Feminist Reader, but I wanted to post about it on LWM. Pajiba blogger Dustin Rowles writes about the documentary, "The Bible Tells Me So," and how it portrays the religious "right" and its take on homosexuality:

"The Bible Tells Me So, an enlightening, hard-to-watch documentary [is] about how the religious right has used the Bible to screw over the gay community. The documentary focuses primarily on the stories of five families who have dealt with children coming out of the closet, most notably the stories of Chrissy Gephardt (Dick’s lesbian daughter) and Gene Robinson, the first gay bishop in America. I can’t do justice to how inspiring their stories are, particularly in contrast to what the rest of the movie explores: the obstacles of hate that James Dobson and the rest of those religio-wackjobs have erected in their paths."

I grew up memorizing the Bible verses in Leviticus that are so often used to, and knew first-hand how tolerant -- or intolerant -- people could be. And the point of the documentary is to show the why some religious people believe the way they believe.

It's times like these where I wish I could make people switch spots, just for a day or two, long enough to see how reactions and actions affect them. MAN, I've been surly the last few weeks.

L Word randomness

I forgot to mention last week that Leisha Hailey's armband tattoo was gone (or nearly gone) during that scene where Alice is talking to Tina when she's trying to get onto the set of Jenny's movie. Apparently, many people were wondering the same thing because it's all over google like spilled milk. So, I think it's safe to say Hailey was lasering off her tat. Which = sad. I love tats, old or new but it is her body and decision. But, ouch.

Detrimental

Detriment: n. 1. Damage, injury, or loss. 2. Something that causes damage, injury, or loss.

I hear about the ex-gay "movement" every so now and again, and the hatred that stems from the so-called leaders of this movement and ones like it bring tears to my eyes. It's difficult to comprehend such disdain and hate for another human, and to use the name of God to do so. Which is why articles such as this one are so encouraging to read.

I'm going through my own personal "It's Okay"-ness, meaning I've heard from family and friends those crappy words, "I accept you, I just don't agree with your decision/choice/lifestyle" to often. Some from which had previously been cool with everything, and have now, after mulling it over, changed their minds. Which, ugh.

I'm strong enough in who I am and in my relationship with The Wifey to not have it totally upset me, but yet, I feel as though it's one of those issues when "agree to disagree" is going to have to come into play. And when that has happened in previous times, the friendship/relationship usually dies, because how can you maintain a connection with someone who decides you are the way you are? Or will I forever have two deeply separate types of people in my life? The ones who fully accept me or the ones who wonder why I'm such a bad, bad sinner but never say that to my face?

I wish I could have known you, little one

Yes, we live in a world where this happens. More than you think.

Too sad.

L stands for Lesbian Dinner Party 5.8

Although I've mentioned last week that the feeling of the show is incredibly different from the first few seasons, it wasn't until this episode that The Wifey and I both said "What. The. Fuck?" to each other a few times. The biggest instance: Kit. Her lines are increasingly ghetto and her scenes increasingly cut down. But, what are you going to do? More tidbits:

* Molly takes a chance on kissing Shane and then freaks but boi, did she push that door open for later. And, guessing from the previews, she's a sure bet.

* Bette and Tina still unsure (well, Bette anyway) about what to do with each other. Bette even brings up seeing Dan Foxworthy from season one. Anyone remember him? Talking about the Lesbian Urge To Merge and managing group therapy?

* Not one person said anything about the horrendous hickeys Niki Poopie Tattooie and Jenny both sported. Not one. And, who sucks on the middle of their girlfriend's neck? The exact middle?

* Dear L Word hairdresser, what happened to Bette's hair? It seemingly flattened scene by scene, but wow, did it have ever body that first scene, body like WHOA.

* How much do you guys love awkward lesbian dinner parties? Not to be invited to, but to watch from afar and to marvel aloud when Tina and Bette start arguing? ("Sorry, we didn't mean to leave you out." "Yes, you did.")

* "Williams, you're going to be missed around here. Goodbye."
Tasha comes clean, gets booted out but makes out with Alice on the base. So, she's free to be with whomever she wants, but where's she going to work? Wax burnt down. There's already an Adele (though Tasha would take Jenny out the second she started to whine) and I don't really see her making a cameo on The Look with Alice. We shall see. ...

* Did anyone else see Papi at the movie premiere? Me neither.

And Just Because

Today at work, I wished I was in this music video. Swoon, Le Tigre!

If you haven't yet ...

You should all read "The Sexual Spectrum: Why We're All Different" by Olive Skene Johnson. I finally finished it last night and it's so fucking fantastic, you can't tell you're wading through myriad studies on human sexuality.

It's been on of my recommended books in our blog's Good Reads list, but I've been sadly neglectful of updating the list or adding my thoughts, so here's what I think:

In regards to any questions you've had about differences between you and whoever else, Johnson will answer it, in such a way, it's like having a really great cup of coffee with an old friend and she's telling you story after story and you even though you may have some place to go, you stay and listen.

So, go to the library, or Barnes and Noble, or Borders or -- better yet -- your local-run bookstore and get you copy and get comfortable. Heck, I'll send you my dog-eared and underlined copy if you are desperate. Then you can contact me and we can talk about it since I really miss being part of a book club these days.

Sad news of the week

This is old news, but should be blogged about just the same. The Wifey alerted me to the story on CNN about Lawrence King, the teen shot to death while in a school computer lab. CNN mentioned very lightly that King was flamboyant but little more was said at the time. Turns out the 15-year-old had revealed he was gay, according to The Washington Blade:

"A 14-year-old classmate, Brandon McInerney, is charged with killing the eighth-grader. Prosecutors want to try him as an adult for murder and committing a hate crime."

L stands for Let's keep our mouths shut 5.7

We kicked off the seventh ep with Alice wanting to be Miss Popular with The Look ladies, Tasha saying a hearty "fuck you" to copping a plea (was anyone else gleeful when she said that?) and further evidence that Bette is bored.

But the strangest part of the episode was seeing Kelly McGillis as Colonel Gillian Davis. If you don't remember where you've heard that name before, it was in the ultra homo-erotic film, "Top Gun" McGillis played Charlie. I'm not going to say anything about aging, because, by golly, we're all doing it as I blog, but, I will say, it's a bit shocking to see McGillis in 1986 looking like this and then in 2007, looking like she did on Sunday night. More tidbits:

* We finally get to watch the promised Turkish Lesbian Oil Wrestling. Or is it Lesbian Turkish Oil Wrestling? Only Turkish Lesbians allowed? Eh.

* Hearing "Dawn Denbo and my (her) lover Cindy" way too much.

* Still trying to figure out what Adele's deal is. She "accidentally" drops the advertisement for the oil wrestling so that Nikki Poopie Tattooie sees it. NPT goes, wrestles and consequently holds up production. But, why, Adele, why?

* Papi has been erased. I wouldn't be surprised if you bought season four and her character was cut out of the film. Like, literally cut out, you'd just see blank space. I didn't love the character, but doesn't she at least deserve a one-sentence explanation? I mean, there were Papi fans, right?

* Bette throwing Jodi's arms back when she's topping her on the bed. I watched that TWICE.

* Alice, Alice, Alice. What are you doing? That character has totally changed from the first three seasons. Alice used to be my favorite character, but I can't figure her out anymore. I think the whole flavor of the show has been altered so much, it's a completely different animal.

*I'm not bitter.

* Nikki telling Jenny she wants to have her babies. And that she loves her. And that they should move to Ireland or Japan. Clingy, much?

The Commonwealth hates sex workers

The president of William & Mary has been fired/asked to resign/something over his latest in a series of progressive acts: allowing the college to host the Sex Workers Art Show.

Here is what I have to say about this: c'mooooooooon, Virginia. I mean it. Honestly.

Punk Rock Femme and I attended the Richmond leg of the Sex Workers Art Show, which was held at an alternate location because Virginia Commonwealth University got squicked out by Teh Evil Sex Workers. Controversy! Protesters at the door yelling things about Jesus and "sins of the flesh"! Extremely large turnout! Standing room only!

I expected sauciness and filthy, filthy things. What we got was kind of tame. A queer dude escort did a really, really long and boring monologue about daddies and jury duty. A burlesque dancer did some things with her insanely large hooters. A porn star read a really beautiful short story. A domme rocked it performance art style, and she maybe got a (strap on) blow job on stage. Someone else sang a piece from a musical.

At intermission, the venue sold hot dogs, french fries, and Pepsi. It was like a high school football game, only with less violence and more of a sense of community.

Firing offense? Protestors? Honestly, Virginia ... I don't know what I'm gonna do with you.

[Via Jezebel]

Choppin' broccoli

Okay, I thought my big comeback post would be something silly. I had something in the works about CATS! Which, let's be honest, all the big Ds love a good cat story.

But, having read all of TB's recent posts about her emotional coming out story, I felt like that would be disrespectful. So I thought I'd add my own coming out story to the mix, and it'd be a week of fun "how we made our parents get ulcers" stories.

So ... picture it, Sicily, 1922. Wait, no. That's a Golden Girls episode. Picture it: Western Pennsylvania. Wait, wait, no: picture it, Western Massachusetts, my liberal alma mater, a few months before.

I made the decision to go to my liberal alma mater because of a GIRL. The girl was my first girlfriend, and she ended up at much more liberal school very near mine. I one-upped her by deciding to live on the big ol' GAY AND LESBIAN floor at my school. I felt rad and progressive and kind of punk rock.

Fast forward to moving in day, where everyone was introduced with the horrible ice breakers and the awkwardness. Turns out I wasn't so rad and progressive. Out of all of my floormates, I was the only one who wasn't out to my parents. I was the only one who hadn't been out since, like, birth. I hadn't started a gay-straight alliance in my high school, I hadn't been some kind of queer youth activist, I hadn't written a book (!) about my experiences.

Less rad, less progressive. So, I kind of freaked out. I had known that I'd be moving into that floor since summer orientation and, when I actually moved in, I had a friend come from Pennsylvania and made my parents stay home. Closet for the WIN.

And fast forward again to Thanksgiving vacation. The First Wives Club was on rerun on some station, and I saw that one of the characters had an OUT KID ZOMG. Catalyst. I freaked out. I went into the den and drank a couple of my dad's beers and smoked about 10 cigarettes. I smoked a few more. It's gonna happen, son.

I went upstairs, where my mom was chopping something for dinner (I remember it as broccoli, but hey, who knows). I said the following incredibly guilt-inducing and shitty thing to her:

Mom, will you still love me no matter what?

And my mom froze like a small-town mom in headlights. She said yes, because really? Really. What shitty mom is going to say no to that?

I told her that I needed to tell her something important. My mom said that she already knew what it was, that I didn't need to tell her. I told her. She chopped broccoli frantically. We talked for a bit. She said some good stuff ("I still love you") and some bad stuff ("Don't tell a lot of people because I still have to live here").

Later, she blamed my 'mo identity on the fact that she and my dad had let me play Little League with the boys. Jesus, ego much, ma? But it went on. She and my dad, many years removed, are still weird about stuff, good about other stuff.

I'm the youngest of three kids, by a lot, lot, lot of years. I came out to my oldest brother, the punk rock one with the hipster wife, years and years before I ever said anything to my mom. And he's the one that I talk to about my prospective mates and my current mates, because my mom always (still!) makes some kind of non-committal noise and doesn't want to talk about anything. At the same time, she very much wants for me to meet GRAD STUDENTS and LAWYERS and DOCTORS 'cause I'm the little one in her head. I need a nice girl with a HUGE income, so that I can ... what? Be a housebutch, apparently. The parents, they never stop worrying.

So, I did say that my brothers are a billion years older than I am, right? A couple of years ago, after I'd moved the the lovely D.C. metro region, my oldest niece, the daughter of my Brother Who Often Doesn't Understand Stuff Like This, sent me a MySpace message:

"So ... are you gay?"

And how do you deal with that?

"Uh ... yes?"

And how does she deal with that?

Cool! I thought so! What does your girlfriend look like? Send me pics!

I have a ton of hope based on that, and I'm not sure why. "Meh, can I see pictures?" is the raddest attitude ever. It makes me hope that the next generation of people in their teens and twenties are going to get a whatevs and a canIseepics instead of a pleasedon'tdothistome.

Let's hope, huh?

(xoxo, Brit, for being so rad should you ever see this)

Rainbow Theory

So, folks, I did it. I finally crossed that line and told my mom. I'm still processing everything, and although the weight has been lifted, it's been replaced by a whole different set of feelings and emotions.

One thing that she, along with many other parent's of queer kids, kept saying was, "It's my fault, I wasn't ____ enough or _____ enough." Her's were actually "spiritual" and "didn't discipline." Which = no, mom, you were both. If I still lived near them, I'm pretty sure I'd still have a curfew (I'm 28) and I went to a Baptist private school from K through my senior year, so add that to church on Sundays, I got a good dose of religion 6 days a week for 13 years. I can't do the math, but that's a shit ton of religion.

In any event, she'll hopefully work through her emotions, or the stages of grief, and I'll let her get there on her own time. I love my mom with all my heart and I hope she got that that was the main theme throughout our conversation. I know I got that from her.

While talking to tentimesfast about it, she mentioned that she thinks parents are a bit egotistical in that they take full responsibility for us queer kids being queer. (Though, there are studies that found when a mother was stressed during her pregnancy, that impacted whether the fetus was homosexual or not, but that's not the point here. And don't bring that up to your parents if you're thinking of coming out. No, no, no, no, no.) And, truthfully, most parents have a lot to do with how we turn out, but when it comes to being gay, it's out of their hands (unless they try to send you to a crazy 'be an ex-gay' in a week shitty camps/sermons. Don't get me started on how horrible those are).

Yet, they blame themselves any way. I hope mine (and yours) get over that.

Hill hearts gays

It's not looking that great for my gal, Hillary, but I haven't lost hope. We've got months to go (fingers crossed) and I'm still waiting for my "Hillary for President" bumper sticker (6 to 8 weeks, my ass!).
So it was exciting to see The Washington Blade's interview with Hill.

L stands for Let's stop saying 'spread your legs' 5.6

Okay. So we're further into the series and starting to see just how evident it is that Jenny get as much screen-time as possible. Nevermind that Alice and Tasha's break-up was downgraded to 2.5 minutes if that, we must see Jenny's abhorrent behavior. But, moving on. The catalyst for the entire episode was the Bette and Tina sex scene, times 2. Which = good. But, please delete "spread your legs" from your "dirty talk," ladies! It was cheeky for Tina to take something from Brenda, who seemed as different from Bette as someone could be, and use it on Bette. She deserves better! Perhaps it's just me. But, more highlights for you ladies:

* The opening scene, with "Bev" and "Nina" was taken from the pilot of L Word, and unless Jenny has become a clairvoyant, methinks Ilene was whispering in her ear: Jenny didn't witness that scene; that was a private moment betwixt Bette and Tina. (Thanks to The Wifey for pointing that little gem out). Ugh, Jenny.

* Still, no Papi. I wanted Kit to say something while her and Bette were walking toward the movie set, something like, "You know who else liked martinis? Papi! Now, where did that girl go?" But no, didn't happen.

* Dawn Denbo. Denbo. Denbo. Denbo. She certainly loves saying her stupid last name. Does anyone talk like that? And which movie sets can I visit so I can disrupt it and get $5,000 out of the deal? Like, what? And her girlfriend, Cindy, dressing like a South Beach gay man? I don't get it.

* "Puppies!" "Those aren't fucking puppies!"

* The mystery that is Adele. She's only got two more eps after this, folks. Any ideas? I hope it's more exciting than that she's obsessed with Jenny. And did anyone else notice that when Shane and Alice are looking at Adele, toward the end of the episode, you near Max talking, but the camera is premature in panning to him?

* Speaking of strange camera panning stuff ... the Bette and Tina tea-time-turned-bedroom-dancing-time camera pan was very "Queer as Folk"-esque. No? They did shots like that all the time for Brian and Justin. God, I miss that show.

* I still don't know what Nikki's tattoo is supposed to be. She was wearing some peasant/baby doll shirt that covered her shoulder. Damn. I still think it's poopie.

Bustin' my way out of the damn closet

I had a conversation with a good queer friend the other day about Coming Out. Most of you know that I'm a right foot, knee and half an arm out of The Closet. Close friends know, siblings know, a smattering of coworkers know and our lovely readers know.

My parents, however, do not. This has caused some anxiety on my part, as it usually does for most queer kids who are planning on telling their parents. As I've stated before, my parents are Republican, Baptist conservatives who will have a difficult time wrapping their minds around this. In order to prepare myself, I've thought of the aftermath, where I either get 1. Questions (yay! I love Q&A's!) or 2. They'll skirt the issues entirely and pretend that The Wifey is really my "roommate" and that this is a phase I will outgrow. I'm betting it's going to be No. 2.

In any event, telling them is going to happen soon. It needs to happen. I'll flip my shit one day in the future if I don't. I just want to be as "ready" as I can. But, how do you know when you're ready ready?

Day late, drag short

I missed the boat on blogging about a recent Feministing post in which blogger Miriam wrote about a recent uproar over Club Chaos in Dupont Circle and drag shows. Seems as though the Dupont Circle Citizens Association is getting a bit poopy about the shows: "[The group] doesn't want that kind of entertainment."
Apparently, last night the dragsters were planning on turning the performance into a protest. Anyone know any more about this?

Let's just get it out there: I fucking LOVE drag shows. Of all and any nature. They're fun, they're sarcastic and best of all, they're GAY. I've been reeling as of late over straight vs. queer issues, in terms of wanting so desperately to add more queer friends, bars, happenings, etc. to my life and finding it a bit more difficult than I previously thought. So when something like this comes up, where a fantastic gay establishment is being told it can't hold drag shows, well, it's more than a drag to hear.

L stands for Let's eat some party brownies 5.5

So, overall, not as bad as the first three eps, but not half as scintillating as 4. Either way, a good time. We see more of a breakdown with Bette and Jodi, Alice pulling some shifty shit and the alluded demise of Alice and Tasha. *Sniffle.* The highlight of the episode was the cast party at Shane and Jenny's. So. Much. Happened. Let's dive in, shall we?

* Party brownies are the bomb, and I'm not promoting drug use, just light drug use. Okay, so I am. I've only had them once in my life but, damn, son, damn.

* Jenny gets it on with Nikki, her cast doppelganger, in the closet. Intriguing, as Nikki hasn't come out of it yet. And, can someone please tell me what the hell sort of tattoo Nikki has on her left shoulder? It looks like poop to me.

*Shane still has That Hair, but it's fluffed out a bit, and not so stringy. You're getting closer, closer. And there will always be a soft spot in my heart for crisp, white dress shirts. Unbuttoned with a tank underneath. With wrist, um, embellishments. Are those leather? I likey.

*Additionally, Shane does the dirty dirty with one-third of the threesome (or would it be one-half of the twosome? Or two-thirds of the threesome? This is why I failed math).

* Still no Papi. No mention of her, nothing. I was hoping she'd fly out from behind a piece of furniture and scream, "here I am!" ... and then Ilene would tackle her and then the scene would go on like nothing happened. Yes, I should be DIRECTOR!

* No, actually, I shouldn't. Things would go awry. Moving on. In the busting up part of the party, I sort of love how 1. Dawn D. wears see-through clothing and 2. She's about four feet tall, so her "threats" are met with delicious laughter, and that was me laughing. The L Word girlies were high, silly. They'd laugh at anything.

* How AWESOME is it when Bette flips out ("I am flabbergasted, fucking flabbergasted") and instead of talking to her doppelganger who asked ridiculous questions, she turns to Tina? Bette flipping her shit is just about the best thing to watch. I have a name for it: A Bette Moment. And sometimes, I have Bette Moments myself.

* Is it just me, or are there a ton of fake breasts this season? It seemed as though Ilene was keeping it real (haha) in previous seasons and you'd see au natural boobs and it was good, it was really, really good. Now it's more, L.A. Blechy.

Lesbian Marketplace

I've often wondered where, if any, the advertising agencies' focus was when it came to lesbians. If I didn't know any better, I would have a smattering of okay-to-bad lesbian films and L Word to base my view of what a lesbian is and what she wants. Of course, for the post's sake, I'll forgo any friend's/girlfriend's thoughts -- we're focusing on what the media is telling us to be and want, sillies!

Needless to say, I was intrigued by Out Front's recent post about figuring out what, exactly, lesbians want.

Fact is, lesbians love to wine, dine and (attention Ad Agencies) spend money, and although the gay marketing strategies are far and wide, they don't really have that special touch when it comes to marketing to lesbians. You know, that special, special touch.

Free lube!

Well, you'll get free lube if you participate in an Indiana University study about women, the sexin', and the lube (repeatedly called "sexual lubricant", which makes me laugh because I'm 12 on the inside).

From the study description:

Women who decide to participate in this study will be asked to complete a detailed questionnaire about themselves, their sexual attitudes and their sexual behaviors. After completing this initial questionnaire, we will ask you to come to our study website every day for a period of five (5) weeks and answer a brief questionnaire about your sexual activities and any products used during sexual activity that day. We will send participants an e-mail reminder each day for five weeks. We will also send all participants three (3) small bottles of a personal lubricant via U.S. mail. After participants receive these lubricants in the mail, we will ask them to use these lubricants for sexual activity (either alone or with a partner) for two specific weeks during the study and then to stop using the lubricants for the remainder of the study.

And then you'll get a reward! Who doesn't love a nice reward?

In addition to the free lubricants that you will receive during the study, women who complete the study will also receive a gift card.

Free lube! Gift cards! I'm so there! Doitdoitdoit!