Bustin' my way out of the damn closet

I had a conversation with a good queer friend the other day about Coming Out. Most of you know that I'm a right foot, knee and half an arm out of The Closet. Close friends know, siblings know, a smattering of coworkers know and our lovely readers know.

My parents, however, do not. This has caused some anxiety on my part, as it usually does for most queer kids who are planning on telling their parents. As I've stated before, my parents are Republican, Baptist conservatives who will have a difficult time wrapping their minds around this. In order to prepare myself, I've thought of the aftermath, where I either get 1. Questions (yay! I love Q&A's!) or 2. They'll skirt the issues entirely and pretend that The Wifey is really my "roommate" and that this is a phase I will outgrow. I'm betting it's going to be No. 2.

In any event, telling them is going to happen soon. It needs to happen. I'll flip my shit one day in the future if I don't. I just want to be as "ready" as I can. But, how do you know when you're ready ready?