bitch needs help!

It's times like these that I wish I had a list of names so I could hold a fundraising party at my place. I LOVE entertaining and doing it for a good cause is even more fun. But since I have yet to reach Power Lesbian Status, I'm just going to have to settle for posting a vid from teh ladies at bitch.

Queer love for the biopic

Months ago I read about Gus Van Sant's Harvey Milk biopic "Milk." Milk was the first openly gay duder elected to political office in San Francisco in the late 70s. It's on my list to see at the theater, and it comes out December 5. I love, love, love movies about real-life gays like WHOA.
So who's with me? I'll buy the popcorn. You get the Milk Duds.

And now you're going to hell

Towleroad has a post about a church in Ohio that is using Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" lyrics as a sermon/sign. It looks like it's lumping those curious kissing drunk girls with all the gays and is sending them all to hell. Decorate your hand basket, ladies, the group is widening.

More fun with server logs

Hot diggedy damn, do I love reading through our server logs and seeing what key words brought readers to our blog. Tentimesfast has blogged before about this and it's always fucking hilarious, so I'm going to give it a shot. Here goes.

Things I can't answer or don't know where to start:

- how to be a hot butch (perhaps tentimesfast can write up a post about this. Now, if you want to know how to be a hot low femme, well then, *blush* let me take a quick sip of my pinot noir and I'll share my wealth of knowledge with you.)

- i fucked my aunt jane (Oh. My. Well, dear, I'm not sure what to tell you. There will probably be repercussions, and I don't think fucking your aunt Jane was a very good idea. Stick to non-relatives the next time you get the urge. Please.)

- you tube clitoris munching (This deserves a hearty What The Fuck. While I applaud your succinct search terms, I am understandably afraid of you. Munching on a clitoris? I'd rather munch on chips and salsa and showsomelove for the clitoris. Much different.

- "i can japan" (Hmm. Tentimesfast? Is this some music term I'm not familiar with?)

- queer girls fucking men (No, no and no. We don't blog about that sort of thing here. I don't want to write about it or read about it and I'm not sure why you do either. You could be a duder looking for a tell-all on how to score with your queer lady friend and in that case, stop. Just stop. If you're a queer girl looking to fuck a dude so you can answer some questions of your own, I recommend you find a good therapist, talk to your friends or do something other than look for the answer here. Sorry.)


Things we all can enjoy:

- celebian crushes (Of course.)

- northern state queer (A few of us caught the Tegan and Sara show back in November here in D.C. and Northern State opened. I love listening to them at work when I'm annoyed by the total tools in my office.)

- rohan lindsay samantha butch femme (I'm not on the Lindsay/Samantha bus, though Sam did look swell in that stripey green and grey sweater the other day. The Wifey and tentimesfast are on the bus and find them intriguing.)

'Heteroflexible'

When I heard Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" for the first time, I groaned. Loudly. For starters, I'm not a fan of the sound of it. It grates on my nerves even without adding in the vocals. I don't find it catchy and I'm annoyed when it comes on the radio. And it gets changed. Every time.

The words anger me even more. Maybe I'm just being a bitchy queer but I grow weary of posers, those girls who love to get wiggedy wasted and share a kiss or two with their best gal pal at a bar or party to the delight of the crowd. Disclaimer: Now, I too used to kiss one of my best friends at parties because it was fun and people dug it. I wasn't in love with her, and didn't want it to be anything more than a kiss, but looking back, I probably should have asked myself a few questions about my own sexuality and maybe I would have gotten to this point in my life earlier. Moving on.

The Wifey sent me this article last week from Minneapolis Star Tribune on "heteroflexibility." It's written by Katherine Kerstein who writes about the growing trend of young girls kissing their friends because it's exciting, their boyfriends like it and for a brief few moments, they're the center of attention. Sigh. Kerstein cites the Girls Gone Wild franchise for pushing the "trend" forward along with a few other publications (thanks Marie Claire for calling bisexuality "the erotic new trend"). More sighing. Thing is, bisexuality and whatever the fuck this "trend" is are completely different in my eyes. Kissing your friend for attention is sad, and I did it! Knowing you are truly bisexual is beautiful. There's a difference.

Palin, Schmalin

Since John McCain announced that Sarah Palin would be his running mate, I've been locked onto CNN, watching the interviews, the debating between reporters and interviewees (god, I love Campbell Brown and watch the clip above to see why).

One of the reasons I'm glued to the TV is over Bristol Palin, Sarah's 17-year-old daughter. Bristol, who is five months along, is engaged to her baby daddy, Levi. The happy couple will have a shot gun wedding and bring the baby up in a Republican love nest and make an honest woman out of Bristol.

Thing is, I wonder if Bristol even had a choice in the matter of remaining pregnant or not. Her mother is a staunchly loud voice for anti-choice and would just love to see Roe v. Wade overturned. Barack Obama has publicly said that the media should stick to focusing on just Sarah. But here's the thing, dear Barack: Your family, whether you like it or not (and especially your children) are a huge reflection on who you are. If you are a anti-choice, pro-abstinence talking, Republican mother of five, having your 17-year-old daughter get knocked up is going to reflect on you. Clearly, her abstinence-only chat I'm assuming she had with Bristol did fall on deaf ears.

Bottom line: I feel sorry for Bristol. Her life will be very different from the one she could have had. Maybe it was her full decision, maybe she was pressured, who knows. She'll be 35 when (or if) her kid graduates from high school. And maybe through this, she'll realize the full power of choice.

Lesbians getting down

I'm super pumped about Phase Fest this year, seeing as last year was pretty fun, save for some unexpected drama, which I'll spare you all on. I'm planning on heading there for Saturday and possibly Friday as well. Tentimesfast will be there, along with Punk Rock Femme and I'll be escorting my lovely lady, The Wifey. (And to the D who told TW that her hair was awesome the last time we were at Phase, watch out! I've been working out. Or at least I've seen a ton of "Work Out" episodes.)

Hope all you are planning on heading out, and D-ing it up!

Rural

I blogged earlier about going home to Minnesota for my class reunion and to visit people I haven't seen in a long time. The overall trip was awesome. The class reunion was what I expected, for the most part. Seeing people who have changed a lot and at least one who hadn't changed at all. Seeing the same mannerisms in people, now with 3.5 kids; or seeing physical attributes in the kids was even stranger.

One thing that I didn't do was visit my parents. I was in the area, but never planned on stopping by, as things with them has been stressful and chaotic to say the least. I've talked to my mom twice since then and explained that as long as The Wifey isn't welcome in her home, I won't step foot in it. It's difficult to know when you need to put your foot down and when to step away and let the other person in a bit, but this was one topic I couldn't compromise on. And I made that very clear. We're both very stubborn women, thanks genetics!

My mother's newest idea is to take "baby steps," meaning her and I can talk or exchange e-mails every so often. The other catch is that I don't "throw it in her face." Since I've always been PG or PG-13 with my mom on everything, I asked her to clarify. "Well," she said. "You know that I don't like to hear about you drinking, or that you got drunk or that you are drinking wine." So, I said, you think that I rub it in your face? I thought back to our conversations. I included TW in it, though the most I said about her and I was that we were mulling a small trip to Virginia Beach. "Well, you said that you two were thinking of taking a long weekend together."

Wait, hold up.

THAT was shoving it in her face? Do I have my work cut out for me, or what?

The bottom line is that she mostly feels as though she's going through this all by herself. My dad remains mum on the subject and she's adamantly said that a PFLAG meeting is out of the question. It may seem as though I'm all over the board on this post, but I promise that I'm getting somewhere. And that somewhere is here: For those of us who have parents who live in rural areas, with all the assumed stereotypes, who don't know another gay person, what can we do to help them? I've been so submerged in my life, and being out at work, out to people in my life, out in general that it's difficult for me to imagine not knowing another gay person or knowing how to wrap my mind around it all, from a thousand miles away. Tentimesfast also has parents who live in a rural area and we've talked a bit about the subject. It took her mom about six years to come around and her advice to me was to be patient, though it's hard not to want to slam the door until she comes around.

I know I'm not the only one who is going through something like that, and I certainly won't be the last. It's really hard to be this estranged and to not know which step to take next. I'm going to try harder to understand where she's coming from, and in turn I hopes she does the same.

The gay marriage debate continues

It's nice to see a columnist for a mostly conservative chain of papers happy about gay marriage, even though it's because she likes weddings in general. The story also delves into the differences between marriage and a domestic partnership, two semi-separate things that I can use some education on. So if you're up for reading a brisk column on the ins and outs of California's law on gay marriage, here's one point of view.