I have seen my future, and it is HANDSOME

I went for gas before work today and pulled up next to the biggest, pimpest Escalade that I have ever seen outside of, like, a music video. Standing outside of the Escalade was the biggest, pimpest butch I have ever seen outside of, like, every femme's wet dream: 40ish, silver/gray fauxhawk, black t-shirt, aviators.

Escalade Butch gave me the Acknowledgment Nod when I walked in to buy smokes, which: RAD. When I walked out, Escalade Butch was still pumping gas (I mean, Escalade, right?), but she had this 20ish indie rock femme all feeling up on her while pumping gas. When I pulled away, she gave me the biggest grin I've ever seen in my life, the "GodI'msofuckinglucky" grin.

Ohmygod, I hope that I am Anderson Cooper gray when I'm in my 40s. And that I have an Escalade.