My funny definition of "save yourself" involves watching the movie

I'm live blogging my reactions to "Puccini for Beginners" because HLE already did the hard work by watching an awful movie for reals.

So: once upon a time, there was this director named Maria Maggenti who made a movie called "The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love" in which she kind of fleshed out the story of her first 'mo relationship. Hey! Guess what? Maria Maggenti is straight now and watching her insert her personal politics and bullshit into a film isn't nearly as interesting as it was when she was a huge fucking D. SEXUAL FLUIDITY IS A RADICAL CONCEPT THAT MARIA MAGGENTI JUST INVENTED THIS VERY MINUTE, YOU GUYS.

If I make it through 20 minutes, I'll consider it a victory!


7:25: My first impression is that Allegra isn’t hot enough to break anyone’s heart.

7:27: I’m already bored. Too much NYC, not enough establishment.

7:30: Passionless. Kissing. Nice. Also, panties! Stop stopping the action like that.

7:31: Gloria Steinem. Hahaha.

7:32: OH MY GOD RENT CONTROL less than 10 minutes in.

7:35: This feels like Incredibly True ..., except it’s about adults and isn’t as cute

7:37: Assistant professors can be in the midst of finishing their dissertations?

7:38: Gross. The cab thing is gross. Straight people are gross. This is making me surly. I’m about to fast forward.

7:41: Grace and Allegra just met. I’m getting ready to check out mentally here.

7:42: Those are nice wine glasses.

7:45: The fact that they’re smoking in a movie is more interesting than the dialogue

7:47: “Paradigm shift” FUCK OFF. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING OH FUCK YOU

7:49: This dude is a DICK. Why are they touching each other? Why doesn’t she kick him out?

7:53: Hey, that post-coital scene is pretty much lifted right from "Go Fish".

7:57: Grace: secretly kind of awesome.

8:03: After the stolen car, Grace is officially effing awesome.

8:05: WTF was that? 2 seconds of on screen lovin’? Fuck you, movie.

8:08: Allegra is also a DICK. I mean a DICK, SON.

Hey, this ... sucks! I'm fast forwarding to the end.

Wow, the ending also sucks. "I want a lifetime partner" is my new reason for doing anything stupid that I ever do for the rest of my life.

Assistant professor, my ass.