My imagination is way too powerful

Punk Rock Femme and I had a conversation tonight about the Denise ("Zazu!") and Sully/Boston Teens sketches from SNL. Funny stuff, right? I mean, Rachel Dratch is so funny and was criminally underutilized on that show ...

But anyway, I had to refresh my memory, so I found one (One! These videos are rare like a unicorn, dudes!) sketch on MySpaceTV. About 30 seconds into the sketch, this thing started happening to me where I was kind of seeing Sully and Zazu as, uhm, a butch-femme couple. Right. Well, I gave you fair warning and told you that it was weird.

This is all part of an advanced technique that I'll call Imagination Christmas. It's what you have to do when you never see anyone who looks like you in films, on television or anywhere but your worn copy of Female Masculinity. It's also what happens when you almost never see couples who represent the relationships that you want in those same places.

I learned the art of Imagination Christmas from a girl I used to date. We went out to a bar with a femme friend of hers, and they spent the first 30 minutes we were there working their flirtation game on the (straight. male.) bartender. And then, miraculously, free drinks! For them. I still had to pay.

Conversation followed:

Me: Are you flirting with him? I mean, I'm standing right here ...
Her: Yeah, but I'm pretending that he's a hot butch.
Me: Ok, but I'm standing right here!
Her: Well, there aren't enough butches in this city, so we have to use our imaginations.

And thus, Imagination Christmas was born! Later, The Girl Who Invented Imagination Christmas used her superpower to play a wicked game of pretend while making out with straight guys. Then she used it to actually start sleeping with them. Right now, I would say that she's using it to go a happy place where she's the radical documentary filmmaker that she wanted to be instead of, you know, being married to a dude, having two kids and living in rural Texas.

Imagination Christmas is a powerful thing! Use it wisely, Padawan.