Sorry I pirated your film, Jamie Babbit

I love you, Jamie Babbit. Can I just get that off my chest right away? I think you're brilliant. I love that all of your films have some kind of insider/outsider temptation thing going for them. I love that you directed an iconic queer film (But I'm a Cheerleader) before you were 30. I love the funky jewel tones in your cinematography. I love the soundtracks to your films -- God damn, son, I love your soundtracks.

Here's the thing: I don't love waiting. I'm ADHD like whoa, like you would NOT BELIEVE. I'm fortunate enough to have a job where my lack of attention span is a bonus and not a detriment. Word. After 678908585585 months of waiting and hot queer press and buildup and film festivals and limited release on another effing coast: enough already, Power Up. Enough.

I pirated your film. Sorry. ALSO: it's possible that I may have distributed it to other people. Sorry about that, too.

If it makes you feel any better, there were a number of versions of Itty Bitty sitting around for download. Woot, huh? People like your queer film, Jamie. They really, really like it! Enough that, if they happen to NOT live in one of the urban centers where IBTC has played in the last 40 years, they'll look to pirate it. Woot?

Look, I'm not even going to say anything about IBTC AS A FILM. I'm not going to post spoilers or wonder if the last ten minutes of it have anything to do with why the film might be having trouble finding a distributor. I'm cool like that. I am going to wonder about this:

Hey! Crazy thought! If you're making a film that is either mocking the '90s punk girl sitch or getting all nostalgic (I can't decide which) over the DiY ethos of riot grrrl, you should probably put forth some effort into DiY distro. Come fucking on. Rustle up a queer, feminist CompSci kid and create a method where website visitors pay for the download of your film. Circumvent curiosity and piracy at the same time. Be marginally fucking realistic about the world we live in; you know, the one where people pirate the media that they can't get their hands on legally.

Crazy thought, I realize. I'll totally buy IBTC when it comes out, though. I mean, if it ever does. I mean, if y'all figure out a way to use the new media model in a way that works for you. I mean ... I'm just saying.