L stands for Lame 5.1

OK, so that's a harsh opinion, but the season 5 premiere of The L Word last night was um, a letdown. I wasn't totally up for blogging about it, but I had no idea that the characters would feel ... wrong. So, I'm just going to break it down to the points I don't quite understand and we'll go from there.

* Jenny is a bigger bitch than before AND it's never really explained how the hell she turned getting lost on a raft in the middle of nowhere into coming back from some exotic island, tanned and bitchy.

* What exactly Bette still sees in Jodie. We saw the horridly unsexy blindfold scene and the confusingly frustrating "I don't like this table" scene. Weird and weird.

* The promise of more sex and well, we got tame tame tame makeout scenes. Meh.

* Is Leisha Hailey lasering off her right armband tattoo? WTF?

* Shane doing the apartment PR chick in the same apartment her and Paige were going to rent and not having any remorse whatsoever when Paige opens the door and sees well, Shane as a bottom.

* No more Angus. At all. Written off. Mentioned in one very odd sentence. Go, Kit?

* Phyllis and Joyce. "U-hauled."

* Helena and her jacked jailmate. Methinks she'll either be her daddy or Helena will get back her ballsiness she so very much had in early seasons and show Jailmate who's The Boss.

* Tina looking hot, hot, hot. But for what what what.