Your queer gender in bottle cap form: an explanation

When Punk Rock Femme at last gained entry to my shower, she emerged with the following bit of wisdom: "Your people always leave the caps off on stuff in the shower." I ... we do? I kind of imagined hordes of butch-identified folks frantically uncapping bottles because, you know, it's part of our gender manifesto (I would like to think that it's written by Jack Halberstam!).

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Here's the thing, you guys. I don't really do the cap thing because I'm a messy bastard (full disclosure: I really am a messy bastard). I do it because my shower is wicked unpredictable. The hottest shower ever can turn into the coldest shower ever in the span of about 5 seconds. I get a warning blast of lukewarm water for those 5 seconds, and that's my warning to get out now.

Given my interest in making my time in the shower as efficient as possible, everything is uncapped. I don't care how expensive my rad new shampoo might be ... the motherfucking cap is open. The two seconds that I might spend uncapping that joint are a waste when you consider the manic nature of the upstairs bathroom in the 10xfast household.

Now that I've explained, I'm giving you the screenshot to preserve the fact that my people (or, at least, the most efficient bathers among us) are in the lead:



Represent, my brothers! Or sisters! Or my really-fast-at-showering brothers/sisters!