The Ex has announced that she's gonna ship me a skanky Craigslist stripper if I don't find a new girlfriend soon. God, honestly, I can't think of a better reason to stay single!
(I asked for a Russian one, by the way)
My Weekend Crush
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Like, hopefully, the rest of the planet I am watching, enjoying and crying
my dang eyes out – but this time with joy and pride – about everything
happen...
