I think my file hosting service has exploded, since we're currently without a header graphic and some other stuff.
Sorry about that; I'll have to find out what's going on.
You know ... sometimes I don't get stuff.
Tonight's Stuff I Don't Get edition comes in the form of the words of some random D.C.-area DJ that I heard while I was out for coffee during work. I had coffee in hand, I was driving back to the office and listening to the radio. I flipped the station at a red light and was treated to a DJ lamenting some of the recent reports of the insanely high HIV infection rates in D.C.
Let me say that I have no idea which station I was on. I heard about 90 seconds of the banter and had to shut my radio off because I was suffering from a rad case of Crazy Rage. Here's what I learned:
- HIV infection rates are high in D.C. because of men who are on the DL.
- HIV can be prevented with honesty.
- If the DJ were to ever engage in a same-sex relationship, she would totally prevent any sort of STD through this policy of honesty.
Do I have to say this next part? She went on a pretty serious But You Guys I'm So Not Queer I Am Wicked Heterosexual tangent to cover up the stupid thing she'd already said.
I don't know. I'm many years removed from my role as undergraduate safer sex advocate, but I naively assumed that we were in a place where straight folks had stopped blaming gay men for HIV/AIDS. I also assumed that we were also in some sort of mystical, enlightened phase where, "Oh, but I trust them!" was actually considered a little wrong-headed.
Honesty: it's just like latex and bloodwork!
The Human Rights Campaign has a "Buying for Equality" shopping list -- so you can be a good queer shopper and put your money where your, er, mouth is. (Somehow that just doesn't sound right there.)
Apparently, Wal-Mart didn't rank so hot this year (they fell from the yellow zone to the red zone, which reminds me I need to buy more antiperspirant). The Washington Blade has a scintillating read about where exactly Wal-Mart stands and this paragraph mentions the aforementioned "race:"
"Donald Wildmon, founder and chair of American Family Association, sent an action alert to his supporters soon after the shopping guide was published. Its main subject: Wal-Mart.
The group is encouraging its members to stage a “buycott” at Wal-Mart in opposition to HRC’s findings. Wildmon predicts if conservatives support Wal-Mart this holiday shopping season while gays go to Target, observers should “look at Wal-Mart’s sales at the end of December to see who won.' "
"While the gays go to Target." I love, love, love me some Target and -- side note -- Target has a score of 80 (green zone) and Kmart has a score of 100. To which I reply: What? There still are Kmarts?I was at the Tegan and Sara show on Saturday night with The Wifey, as was tentimesfast. The twins did seem to tell stories that went on and on; maybe they were just exhausted? Or just the perfect dinner guests?
I didn't mind the stories, mostly because that's how my little sister gives me updates on her life: Rampant winding tales.
I had this conversation with my brother tonight in which he encouraged me to settle down and such. This marks the first time that my punk rawk, do-what-you-feel-and-damn-the-consequences brother has said such a thing.
As it turns out, there's a song for this occasion. There's always a song!
Gillian Welch's "Look at Miss Ohio," for example.
Had your arm around her shoulder, a regimental soldier
And mama starts pushing that wedding gown
Yeah, you wanna do right but not right now
There's this, via Towleroad (and a thousand other places):
Watch it. Watch allllll of it, count the number of "faggots" and "fags" and uhm, get back to me.
Allow me to get nerdy (again). As I've said before, I'm a slightly reformed World of Warcraft (WoW) player. I played WoW for an embarrassingly long time. I started playing because a good friend introduced me to the game, and we played kind of happily for while with his friends from college, his girlfriend (my housemate) and a bunch of others. All of that ended when I stopped enjoying the whole getting killed by other players (PvP) thing and started to want to just play the game without that added threat (PvE).
I searched around and found a PvE server that had a gay and lesbian group of folks who played together on the regular (that'd be a "guild" in the WoW vernacular). Unfortunately, the GLBT guild wouldn't admit me because of the hours that I was keeping. Still, I kept on playing on that server, met a bunch of late-night folks (mostly Aussies), and ended up forming some nerdy in-game friendships with a bunch of them.
Here's where the fun begins: they all thought I was a dude. My in-game avatar was a dude, and I didn't stop them from thinking that I was a dude. It was ... easier? I mean, this is a game that, at one point, banned GLBT guilds from advertising that they were looking for GLBT members.
So, it was easier up until the point when my guild started doing stuff in-game that required voice chat. I stalled for about a month, and then I started in with saying that I couldn't talk, but I could listen. And then I got to hear all of the stuff that wasn't typed: mmm, homophobia & mmm, racism!
While I feel slightly (read: I feel really, truly awful about it) guilty that I never revealed my gender to people who told me about their families, their jobs, their kids ... I kind of don't. On one hand, revealing my gender would have gotten the, "Oh, you're good for a girl!" thing, which: fuck off. On the other, it's, "You're a queer, but the lady kind, which is open to all sorts of fantasy ... mmm, ladies with ladies!"
I mean, I didn't stop playing WoW because of gender identity bullshit, but the Halo vid really underlines how hard it is to be yourself in a world where everything is collaborative gaming with voice chat. Hard, huh? Damned if you're a straight woman with a lady voice that's gonna get gamer boners, damned if you're a queer person with a lady voice that's gonna draw the same, damned if you're a gay dude gamer who wants to be out, damned if you're anything but some straightwhiteguywithbigguns.
I can't be arsed to find a solution to it, but I'd love to hear from other queer gamers. I'm stuck right now in feeling okay with playing games where I'm gonna get gay-bashed on the regs.
Help me out, queer gamers?
Just based on the previews, this is the episode I've been waiting for ... and it was mostly disappointing, much like the last episode. Still, queer visibility for the win!
Tila headed home with the four remaining deluded nutbags, and I learned that even reality show contestants have semi-normal families.
Amanda:
- is an Amazon who towers approximately 800 feet above everything, including small buildings.
- has a surprisingly sweet mom and dad who managed to brush off all of the "I'm SO gonna shock you" stuff that Tila did.
- lives on beachfront property and has some kind of shady, drug-addicted past. Shocker.
Ryan:
- is a douchebag with matching douchebag friends and douchebag car.
- has an uber-conservative, WASP family who didn't really seem to take well to the whole "bisexual girlfriend" news.
- has a kind of hot sister.
Bobby:
- inexplicably lives in rural, upstate New York.
- has a bitch mother.
- is probably going to win, despite both of those giant effing strikes against him.
Dani:
- is the proud granddaughter of possibly the raddest grandma EVER, who not only accepted a lap dance from Tila, but shed a few tears o' love over her really cool grandkid.
- has firehouse co-workers that are protective and sweet.
- breaks out what looks like a modified version of one those WNBA draft suits in the preview for the next episode. You know what I'm talking about? It's the open-necked shirt under the suit jacket that says, "Hi there! I'm on television getting drafted for a career in which I'll probably make about 35, 000 bucks a year. On ESPN! How much money do you make? Really? God, I probably could make more than that doing the thing that I could do with my degree. Anyway ... despite the fact that you've never seen me wearing anything but warmups, having my hair in any style but a ponytail or braids, or doing anything but slapping asses and being kind of butch, I'm still a straight, straight woman! The WNBA probably made me wear this so that I seem like a non-threatening sexual entity, but damn if I don't like looking like a dude in drag. Also, have you seen how much money we make when we play outside of the U.S.? "
So, someone gets sent home! Would you be surprised to learn that it's Ryan? Nah, didn't think so.
Next week: Mexico! WNBA suits! I'm not sure what else!
Bonus: This week's episode was filled with little awesome clips of M.I.A. in between commercials and such. Much better than last week's Alicia Keys-fest.
There's been mixed reactions to Portia deRossi and Joely Richardson's lesbian couple characters on Nip/Tuck and this story makes me ill. Apart from the vapid display of photo after photo and the strange captions under them, the reasoning behind the choice for the women to play the roles was less than cool:
Richardson: "I think playing a lesbian turns men on. When my character Julia was the boring, married housewife, always chopping vegetables, people were sweet and lovely.
"But now I'm playing her as a sexy ***** with a big padded bra and a short skirt, I get a very different reaction.
"I think men respond to the sexiness of two women being together."
Hmm.
The Washington Post's story, "Study Calls HIV in D.C. a 'Modern Epidemic.' "
"Almost 12,500 people in the District were known to have HIV or AIDS in 2006, according to the report. Figures suggest that the number of new HIV cases began declining in 2003, but the administration said the drop more likely reflects underreporting or delayed reporting. A quarter-century into the epidemic, the city's cumulative number of AIDS cases exceeds 17,400.
"HIV/AIDS in the District has become a modern epidemic with complexities and challenges that continue to threaten the lives and well-being of far too many residents," the report states."
Must ... counteract ... Kaki King ... chillfest!
This week: Limp Wrist. They're a hardcore band, their songs are crazy short, and their lyrics are pretty much indecipherable. I'll start you off with "Does Your Daddy Know?", because the intro and outro are hilarious (and totally coherent). The rest of the songs: good luck!
Mmm: surly queer boys ... oops, almost forgot I like girls there for a second. Mmm: surly queers. That's better.
AfterEllen has an new interview with Dani from ASALWTT, and I'm having trouble maintaining the same level of dude-dude respect that I once had for her.
For one, she's still on the "futch" tip:
AE: You've described yourself as "futch" with an F. What does that mean?
DC: It's kind of a cross between a femme and a butch. I'm not femmey by any means, and I don't like to consider myself butch either. I've seen the extreme on both ends, and I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle there, so I put the two words together and called it "futch." I mean, I'm not claiming ownership of that word, but I guess since I've been on the show, it's like my term now. [laughs]
AE: So you think butches are rough?
DC: Yes, I've seen some butches where it's like [whistles]. "How many flannel shirts do you have in the closet?" You know, maybe not flannel so much anymore, but you know, Timberland shoes. I'm not trying to generalize, but I've just seen some rough butch girls. Like, whoa, I'm not f---ing with her. [laughs]
When I wasn't getting crushed by the insane dancing girl standing next to me, I kind of enjoyed my first Tegan and Sara show. Not that I actually know any of their songs or anything, but this was more A Cultural Experience. If I don't see some iconic lesbian performer every few years, I feel like I'm not learning anything.
And I learned so many things last night! I love lists, so follow me ...
1.) Tegan and Sara are schooled in the art of the random story. Allow me to illustrate with a video taken at the show they played the night before they were in D.C. (or not! The video is loading off and on):
Heyo! What? And here I was cynical enough to believe that they told the same stories in every city!
2.) If I leave during your set to smoke, you probably need to work on your stage presence. Not that I'm thinking of any particular trio of feminist hip-hop girls from NYC. Right, Northern State?
3.) Tegan and Sara fans are a little bit rabid. I suspected as much 'cause that's how we do when we have out musicians, but I haven't see anything this obsessive since The Ani Era of the 1990s.
4.) Did you know that the human foot can get stepped on approximately 487 times and still remain intact? Truth!
Drop us a line if you were at the Tegan and Sara show at GWU last night. I'd love to know if I flirted with you or made fun of your dancing ...
I love gift guides. Not so much because they hit the nail on the head in terms of The Perfect Gift, but more because it gives me a good place to start from. So, here are some great ideas and some WTF ideas. Cheers.
For that femme in your life who travels: Roxy's chocolate plaid suitcase set. It will hold most of a week's wardrobe and shoes.
Dyke Duck. I'm not kidding. This thing is um, well, I won't be purchasing this for anyone I know, but perhaps some readers will find it suits a special someone out there just fine.
Urban Outfitters always has nifty books for almost anyone on your list. For the tantalizing tattooed Tilly, "Tattoo Art and Design," for the hipster Do-It-Herselfer, "Generation T" and for the Crafty McCrafterson, "Handmade Modern."
If you haven't found out about someecards.com, someone has been holding out on you. Save a tree, send a snarky holiday ecard. It's a win-win! Check out the other departments as well. My favorite one today? This one. Full disclaimer: Some of these cards are insulting and perverse. That's the fun part, too. If it's a serious card you're looking for, keep it recycled! Treehugger.com has recycled holiday cards that have seeds embedded in them. There's more info and other cards to choose from here.
And who doesn't want Hillary-inspired loot? The Hillary Clinton nutcracker is on my list. Hillaryshirts.com has a plethora of tees to choose from. I want this one.
I'll be back later this week to add more!
I usually get sucked into reading MSN.com's weirdweirdweird advice columns after I sign out of my hotmail (yes, I still use hotmail) account. It takes hotmailers to this general page where you can click on a bevy of subjects, including, to my short surprise, a gay & lesbian tab.
Intrigued? I'll continue.
Because I was. With such subjects as "When your date is a bad kisser ..." and "Where to meet women" it had me hooked. I immediately lunged into "First date faux pas" because tentimesfast was dating a ladyfemme and was asking me (me?!) questions. I only wish I could have sent her this link to laugh at and learn from. Because, to my surprise, it wasn't bad. It actually had good advice and not the "this is for heteros and we'll bend it a wee bit to make it seem applicable to you queers" advice. Real advice, like number 5: Don't show up smelling like a chicken fajita. What? you guys don't like that? ; )
So, for all you out there in the dating world, check it out and perhaps you'll learn something on this Black Friday. It at least gives you fodder for those boring holiday parties.
Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. The never-ending food? The friends over from far away? The unusually fantastic weather? It can't be beat. It's also a time when queers are petrified to sit down Mom and Dad (and whoever else strikes fear into our hearts) and say those words we all will have to say time and time again:
"The turkey is burned."
So, I was pleased that gay.com offers a Gay Survival Guide.
And I'll blog about coming out during the holidays at a later time. Happy Thanksgiving!
1.) Has your housemate ever gotten a little inebriated and burned her Thanksgiving pies 'cause she just, you know, forgot? (Sorry, B., if you ever read this. It was cute!) Has she ever sent you to the store on Thanksgiving eve to buy more pie stuff? 'Cause let me tell you, that was a fun hour standing in line with a bunch of other crazy people while clutching evaporated milk and beer.
2.) Your gay ass could go to TAINTsgiving if you're queer & 21+, located in D.C., and are looking for something to do on Thanksgiving.
3.) The Pipettes have an amazing song called "I Like a Boy in Uniform (School Uniform)" that is cute and sweet and kind of queer. Also, The Pipettes: you cannot resist them!
4.) It's Thanksgiving and there are probably a ton o' queer orgs that could use some money today (or any other day, for that matter). I suggest the Youth Pride Alliance in D.C., because the queer kids are alright. If you're thinking of giving to a national nonprofit, how about The Trevor Project?
See you next week!
A comic about alcoholism gets a World of Warcraft remix. Funny 'cause it's true, folks!
Citizen Crain has a post up right now about the inclusion of a transguy in Metroweekly's Coverboy of the Year contest. I grok a lot of what he's saying, although I'm not so sure about this:
Lesbian journalist Jennifer Vanasco has written about how the popularity of gender-bending among young lesbians has all but eliminated femmes from the under-30 crowd.
“Young women who once called themselves butch now call themselves tranny bois, and these tranny bois are mostly dating each other” Vanasco, a self-identified femme, wrote in a provocative column from a couple of years ago.
Ok, so Dlisted doesn't say the exact thing I've been thinking. I've been thinking that Zac Efron looks like a pretty butch, which: close!
Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Or something. Right?
She's even butch in a bikini. Yeah, I said it: she rocks a bikini top in the latest ep, and she manages to butch that up admirably.
Nothing too special in episode 7 ("Now featuring 20 percent more boring!"). All you need to know is that Manly Stanley makes it on to the next round, where Tila will go home with all of the remaining contestants to meet their families.
On a related note, I have to say that Manly is losing her smooth game. She tells Tila that she will win some kind of pimp award if she gets to bring Tila back to the firehouse. Nice one, Dani. When I'm charming potential mates, the first thing that comes to mind is to tell them that my friends will think I've got my pimp game tight when they see you. I tell my friends that privately, thankyouverymuch.
On to episode 8 and the surefire elimination of America's butchest reality show contestant ever!
Earlier this year, I frequently visited AOL's Queersited blog. But I grew weary of the off-balanced bloggers, namely, the 654 gay dudes and the two token lesbians. Okay, so it was more like 4 dudes and 2 lesbians. Now, when I visit the site, I don't recognize most of the bloggers, but wait, that isn't the issue here.
Queerty has a post about AOL canning the baby gay blog and why.
Now, it wasn't my favorite blog to read, and I probably wouldn't have noticed it were done for had I not read Queerty's post, but still. It sucks to get hired for some groundbreaking (on AOL's turf, that is) blogging and then to have that all end with a quiet "goodbye." And, for what reasons?
It's true. I just passed my (*covers mouth and mumbles*) birthday without getting one, and here's the thing ... I have 3 tiers of tattoo ideas and two are already kind of impractical.
Tier one: a design that has a lot of significance when you consider my academic background. Unfortunately, a person that's very close to me got the same design (it's relatively well-known among nerds in that field), so that's just out of the question now.
Tier two: Unsolvable equations. Rad. Possibly. Although I've been thinking about this for years, my current favorite location (the inside of my forearm) doesn't really support the whole can-I-hide-these-for-interviews thing when you consider how large they'd have to be to get the whole equation in there.
Tier three: Lower case symbols for alpha and beta, one on the right arm and one on the left. Nerdy? Hells yes. Practical? I'm not so sure. They'd be small and easily hidden, but I worry about the Fratty McSorority connection. Still, I'm pretty sure that the average person isn't going to see Former Greek Life Lover when they look at me ...
Okay, I've thought about all three forEVER. I really need to just go and do it, although I'm slightly worried about Tres Bien's approval*. My posting this is my way of publicly shaming myself should I decide to renege. Anyone know a great tattoo place in the D.C. region? Hit me!
*TB is the same person who verbally prods me every single time I go up a gauge in my ears. "Has it been two months?" is the stock phrase. Now, whenever anyone I know goes up a gauge, I find that I have to ask the same thing. Also, "Did you use oil?". Thanks, Tres Bien!
Kaki King makes some tasty, lush post-rock (ish!) music with her hands and her vocal cords. Plus, she's a huge lesbot, so there's no reason why you -- lover of queer music that you are -- shouldn't have at least 2006's Until We Felt Red in your collection.
King also puts on an incredible live show. See her if she comes within a hundred miles of your current location. I mean it. Here she is performing "Playing With Pink Noise" from Legs to Make Us Longer:
Mmm: virtuoso-tastic!
And now, the mix:
So, after dealing with a pretty horrific Amtrak experience on Sunday (holla at me if you had a train that was impacted by some nebulous electrical issue at Penn Station!), I've written a pretty dandy complaint email.
Listen, I never complain. You can pretty much skullfuck me, and I'll take it. The only time in recent memory that I've complained about anything was when I went out on a date, ordered something obscenely expensive for dinner and received breaded and fried Satan with a side of Dear God What IS This in return. That's me: tough exterior and an interior made of kittens and rainbows. So you know this Amtrak thing had to be pretty fucking awful.
With the aid of The Consumerist, I whipped up a pretty bad-ass (and shockingly polite!) complaint. We'll see what happens in the next few days and, if nothing, I'm moving on to the CEO.
10xfast: queer consumer advocate.
Okay, I had two posts planned for today, but for the love of God, I can't get over my hangover. I'll blame the insanely fantastic weekend I had.
So, later today: Monday's Tuesday's queer music mix, and a surprise post full of awesome and win!
I suck.
The game, "Mass Effect," is blowing up in the news today over the possible sex scene a female character and a female alien can have. The two characters can be manipulated to "caress" and "kiss" each other. Interestingly (or rather, not) there is no same-sex shenanigans betwixt any of the male characters.
The news isn't that the female characters can partake in some same sex moments -- because we all know that many games geared toward adults (and some that just aren't) are known to slip in the option of sex scenes. But, the news is that Singapore is banning it because of the "lesbian intimacy" and Singapore says a big, hearty 'NO' to anything having to do with homosexuality.
I'm not sure what emotions to apply here. I'm angry that it's okay in America and most elsewhere to have two female characters behave this way in a game and that you would never, ever see two dude characters acting the same way (all between the killings and the gore, mind you). Hell would freeze OVER.
On the other hand, I'm intrigued. I don't like video games. They bore me and I don't understand the enjoyment. BUT I like everything lesbian, albeit an alien and a She gettin' some action in along the way. So you can see my predicament.
But the best part of the whole story is that the alien, after the action is over, says "By the gods, that was incredible, commander."
Add that to the list of pillow talk. HA!
Here I was, minding my own business, grocery shopping at Giant with The Wifey and I see someone walk past me with a "DC Rollergirls" sweatshirt on. I didn't even know DC had a rollergirls' team, but any time I hear about anything having to do with women getting together to kick ass, I'm intrigued.
So, I'm adding this to the to-do list: Watch a DC Rollergirls' match. Or game. Or er, whatever they call it. (I'm not very well-versed on the sports' lingo, but my heart's in the right place.) They play at the Dulles Sportsplex and although I can't make it to the match/game tomorrow night, I'm adding the Web site to thee ol' bookmarks folder.
And the best part? Their names, son, their NAMES. Condoleeza Slice? Deja Bruise? Guantanamo Babe? Sweet mother. Now if only I can get them to give me a cool-ass name and add me to the honorable-mention-she's-not-really-playing lineup. Maybe that's what I'll ask for for Christmas. ...
I never read any Nancy Drew books when I was younger, so when "The Official Nancy Drew Handbook" caught my eye, I was curious to see what would be included in the "everyone's favorite girl detective" official handbook.
Among the so very applicable chapters, "Escape Clues" and "Survival Clues," (and yes, I realize this book is tongue-in-cheek, folks, I'm not 145) there are "Clues to Love and Romance" which include my favorite section, "How to Get That Ring on Your Finger and That Man to the Altar." Now, perhaps I'm surly because I can't get to the altar with the person I love, or perhaps I never had that as part of the plan from the get-go. My cousin had a 5-year plan that included engagement, college, marriage, job, baby. Mine was um, college? and working and finding someone I was happy with. I'm not crushing down on those who choose (or can choose) to go the Race Ya'll To The Altar game but I don't like the idea of a book, jokingly or not, telling impressionable young girls that this is how life is or how it's done.
Excerpt:
"Give him time: Don't hound him or give him an ultimatum -- that will have the opposite effect. Keep your clues subtle, not overt, then stop talking about the subject for a while. Give him time to mull it over. Remember, you want him to feel it's his decision, even if he's following your lead."
I know this isn't applicable to my fellow lesbians. And I hope no one takes this as any sort of advice. If you somehow manage to convince someone your intentions and make them think it was all their idea, it will come back to bite you in the rosy, red ass. But, as someone who has a little hetero sister out there in the crazy dating world who may take this to heart, I'm outraged this book is encouraging this behavior (as my momma would have put it). The biggest betrayal? That they took the feminist action heroine and turned her into someone who would pander for attention and -- fingers crossed -- wait for that ring to land on her finger. To which I point out: It won't go on if its crossed.
Ahem.
I'll stop with that. And also shout out to tentimesfast, who actually read the series and told me that she suspected Nancy and her best friend George (who was a mighty fine butch according to our conversation) were more than the assumed "best friends."
To which I reply: I hope so.
I thought that might get your attention.
Treehugger.com has an arousing article on How To Green Your Sex Life, including information about the aforementioned sex toys. And, I'm going to say it -- this list is TIGHT, son. You can glean tid bits about how taking a shower together saves water (hear that, Wifey?), which natural aphrodisiacs to employ and how to (I kid you not here) have the best "love juices" out there. And who doesn't want that?
A few of my favorite things:
On throwing a sex toy party: "Dildos are the new Tupperware."
On meeting that possible special someone: "Nothing’s quite worse than meeting some really promising guy or girl and then realizing that he or she is an Escalade-driving, non-recycling, Earth fucker-upper."
It's a must-read for any queer worth her salt and may even give you gift ideas for the upcoming holiday season.
Once upon a time, I bought every single disc in the Ultra-Lounge series. I don't listen to them much anymore, but when certain tracks come up when I've got my whole music library on random, unintentional hilarity ensues.
Witness "I Dig Chicks" by Jonah Jones. I know it's meant as some kind of playboy dude anthem, but my media player o' choice keeps picking it up on shuffle. I think it's trying to tell me something ...
Wouldn't this song make a great addition to some indie lesbo film's soundtrack? Pick it up, girls!
I am heading to NYC this weekend to meet up with my college BF (I'll call her the Italian Stallion because: really. Really.), and she sent me this great anticipatory text that read:
Please say yr coming! I could really use a good butch bonding session over about 87 cold beers
Dani, Dani, Dani.
My final thoughts this week about Dani and A Shot at Love ... go like this:
- Dani is jacked
- Dani is built like a brick wall
- Should Dani ever retire from the firefighting gig, Dani should become a bouncer. Kid has broken up more fights on that show than the guys who are paid to break up fights on that show.
- Dani is motherfucking huge
- Dani apparently spends 16 hours a day lifting cinder blocks and drinking protein shakes
- I'm obsessed with how jacked Dani is. Has she actually gotten more jacked since the beginning of the show? What is with those arms? Am I secretly attracted to her? What the FUCK?
Jesus. I mean, I realize that I watched the most recent episode of ASALWTT knowing that I was going to pay attention to all things Dani, but has there ever been a saner, sweeter reality show contestant? She's pretty much the only one who hasn't declared insane, will-kill-for-you love for a woman she's know for all of 10 seconds. Actually ... never ye mind. That's a fucking terrible standard to use to judge sanity.
At any rate, Dani is jacked. I'm done.
Jacked!
But I won't stop my horrified looks.
Bitch magazine's article, "Multiply and conquer: How to have 17 children and still believe in Jesus" tells the story about families who believe that they should have as many children as God will allow -- and sometimes that means up to and more than 17. The magazine mentions that a particular family, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and the 17 children (all complete with first 'J' names) were part of The Learning Channel's show, "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" While I couldn't find much on TLC's Web site, I did find interesting factoids and stories about the Duggars on the Discovery Channel's site. You can take quizzes and read such fun facts as: "Michelle has been pregnant 135 months of her life."
What?
Without completely restating the obvious (that any and all pregnancy takes a toll on a woman's life and there are fantastic reasons birth control was invented), let's skip ahead. A few generations ahead, that is.
The main point of the article was how when these children are grown and well into adulthood, and all the fancy stuff that comes with that: taxes, voting, shopping, etc., where are the children of our progressive, liberals going to be? Most Blue State parents aren't having kids in the double digits. Families such as the Duggars are having a shit ton of kids because ultimately, to them, they are doing God's business and right now it seems that God's business is to overpopulate with more Christians to tip the scale in their favor for any political, social or (let's be frank) heterosexual balance there could be. They're "in it to win it" to quote Kate Dixon in her story.
But while on the long car trip back from NYC, the wifey and I were discussing it and she brought up a good point. Both her and I came from Christian, Republican (I can't believe I'm sharing all this), heterosexal=good/homosexual=bad, pro-life (anti-choice) families. And look how we've turned out: Two liberal, politically aware, queer, pro-choice, homosexual=good/heterosexual=okay ladies. So, the bigger question is: When a handful of these 17 or so children hit puberty and start rebelling as most teenagers do, how many will enter adulthood believing the same as their parents? How many people do you know who still are carbon copies of their parents after going through college?
Get a haircut at a Bronx salon staffed by a ton of trans stylists. How rad is this?
Thirteen miles from the city’s gay epicenters of Chelsea and the West Village, it seems an unlikely location for a popular salon where four of the eight hairstylists are transgender. Yet the salon is beloved among the men and women in the neighborhood, most of them Latino immigrants.
And haven't blogged in days. But, I have a (relatively) good excuse. I was in NYC for a long weekend with the wifey visiting friends. I'll blog later about adventures, cabbies, the Oscar Wilde Bookstore in Greenwich Village, buying a fake Movado watch and more lovely things.
Oh, and tentimesfast, I'm thinking of starting my own MySpace page just to ask Dani to befriend me. Gah, butch is IN!
Team Gina are 1.) hot, 2.) queer, 3.) hip-hop motherfucking superstars. I'm still moping around about missing their performance at PhaseFest, if only because I think it's gonna be another thousand years before they hit the Dee dot Cee again.
So, for nostalgia's sake, Team Gina are this week's 'mo music mix (should I trademark that, ya think?). I'm hitting you with two tracks from "Gina Gina Revolution," which should be just enough for you to head over to TG's MySpace and buy their album. It'll be best ten bucks you'll spend this month, son.
The tracks:
- "Straight Boys": A name check for foxy dykon Clea DuVall and lots of hilarity about the interaction between straight dudes and femme ladies.
- "A Tribe Called Rocco": Silly self-mockery and a sweet verse about Washington, D.C.
If you have that weird aversion to reality shows that a ton of folks seem to have, then I have a present for you. Via the magic of the internets and YouTube, you too can watch Manly Stanley Dani and Tila Tequila have a dirty make out session.
(An aside: did you know that there's a wiki article out there that will give you the deets on how to make out with a girl? I should absolutely refer to this again in the future, especially for wise tips like this: "Hold her like a baby. Some women are fragile and like to be handled accordingly." Advice! Written! By! People! Who! Have! Never! Touched! A! Girl!)
If you want to avoid the rest of the show and get right to the Dani, shoot forward to 2:55-ish. Bonus tough kid Dani material can be found at 7:10, where Mr. Butch swings in to break up a fight between two of the chicks on the show.
You're welcome.
The arched eyebrow on the butch in panel 2 is my absolute favorite.
So, there's this show ... maybe you've heard of it? A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila is pretty much rocking the socks of every femme I know because of that foxy Manly Stanley, Dani.
Have you seen Dani? Look:
Manly. Stanley. "Futch", my ass! And a firefighter, too! Ladies, you may commence with the swooning right fucking now.
If you know me, you know that I have a thing about getting ranty about butch representation. If you don't know me, now you know: I get ridiculous over the lack of butches in queer pop culture (or, you know, in real fucking life). So, when A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila airs (as it did two nights ago), I Get Phone Calls (tm).
Oh, Dani: ye of the dorky interactions with Tila, the dimples, the butching of the femme gear they try to put you in and the ... well, the firefighter thing. My femme friends thing you're the hottest thing since Jack Halberstam, and my butch friends and I kind of hate you a little bit for the reaction you create in the femmes.
I hope you win, you charming bastard. God knows we need a little futch up in MTV, since we're certainly not getting it anywhere else.
Dear God, dude ...
I just looked at some comments about Dani on BuddyTV.
A selection:
I have never been with a woman but if i ever got a chance to be with dani i would totally take it. She is so sexy and just watching her on the show makes me hot! Dani..... wanna be my first woman?????
I am married with 2 children, I have been with women before but I have now settled with a man. However, I am really into Dani, she is so humble, so real, so beautiful and I wish I could spend some alone time with her and kiss her on her beautiful lips. If there is a way to email her please let me know...
OKAY IN ALL SERIOUSNESS. IM STRAIGHT, AND I GOTTA BOYFRIEND. BUT DANI IS !@#!@iiN SEXY. SHELL MAKE A GIRL WANNA GO HOMO. SO SERIOUS.
For REALS, girls: keep it in your pants. Although, having looked at Dani's MySpace, I have to say that I might have to start liking butches. And being less butch. Fuck, that boi is getting some play!
Teresa Morrison has a FANTASTIC piece over at advocate.com about gender. Whoa, yay for talking about gender in a way that isn't incredibly dense.
Yeah, okay, I changed things, probably before I should have. But seroiously, the white template was making me stabby.
It'll change more over the next few days. Not too shabby for a couple of hours of work though, yeah?
--
Pretty horrible, actually. But I'm looking forward to not looking at the white default dealie anymore.
Let's say ... new design by Saturday? Okay, new design by Saturday, or I have to track down Ann Coulter and make out with her.
Deal!
I'm indifferent on how I feel about Logo's "Exes and Oh's." Actually, I'm indifferent on how I feel about Logo as well, so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. But, that's an entirely different post.
"Exes and Oh's" is centered around the main character, Jennifer (Michelle Paradise) and her "quest" to find "Ms. Right" after walking in on her girlfriend fucking their therapist at a spa.
Why, nicely done, script writers.
Directed by Lee Friedlander, who you may also know as an actor from "The Anna Nicole Show." Wait, what? She also directed "Out at the Wedding" and "Girl Play," neither of which I've seen.
What follows is a show filled with queasy dialogue between Jennifer and her pals as they go about their daily lives. You see, Jennifer talks to the camera (remember how annoying that was when Carrie would do that on "Sex and the City"?) and also dishes out "lesbian rules of dating/life" which come from a big, dusty book. Still with me? Okay, hold fast. This isn't The L Word, and most people are fine with that, but it's not engaging enough to even remember it's on Monday nights. Wait, is it on Monday nights?
There's Sam (Marnie Alton), Jennifer's best friend and self-named commitment-phobe. Chris and Kris (Megan Cavanaugh and Angela Featherstone) the long-term couple screaming Urge-to-Merge and lastly, my personal favorite/gag, Crutch (Heather Matarazzo). Because we. just. can't. get. enough. of. her. Her character makes me want to grab those horrifically colored extensions and scream "WTF?!" at her until she leaves. Just effing leave. Please.
Sigh.
It's true, she does. Her blog is called Monitor Mix. Check it out.
Want to know how I know this? Last night, I pretty emphatically declared Sleater-Kinney's version of "More Than a Feeling" to be the best cover song ever. Then I got home and really wanted to either post about it or send a copy of the mp3 so that I could prove myself right because IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO BE RIGHT. And then I found that I don't actually own a copy of the song or the album on which it lives.
So, googlegooglegoogle, lots of frantic reading through blogs and following link trails and lo and behold, on a page with mp3s of all of the live covers from S-K's repertoire: a link to Carrie Brownstein's new blog.
I found "More Than a Feeling", by the way. Gorgeous.
This makes 3 posts about music in one night. I need to be stopped.
I'm going to relate something shocking to you. Sit down. Ready? Queer people listen to hip-hop. You okay? Yeah? Hmm ... not shocked? Fuck. Okay, how about this: queer people still listen to hip-hop even though some small percentage of mainstream artists might sometimes say something homophobic. WOW. I know, huh? Mind. Blowing.
Dude, I've been reading/hearing/seeing people mull over that fact for a really, really, really, really long time now. I thought we were kind of beyond that point where someone would write something about homophobia in hip-hop that sounded as if they were literally clutching their pearls while they were writing it. But we haven't, at least not in Baltimore, where John-John Williams IV (hee) would like to politely inform you of the same shit on a different day.
Read. Laugh. Marvel at John-John's use of a website that hasn't been updated in at least 6 or 7 years to back up the following statement:
Hip-hop music has never been gay-friendly.
The popularity is not limited to Baltimore. Hip-hop music dominates the playlist at Club Boi, a gay club in Miami; Sunday is hip-hop night at MJs, a gay club in Los Angeles; and hip-hop music rules Tuesday's Drag King nights at The Bourbon Pub and Parade, a gay club in New Orleans.
It's Gaze's "Peeking Shows His Ignorance", which is the first song I ever remember hearing where I could clearly make out the word "butch".
I wish I could find the full lyrics to "Peeking ..." somewhere, 'cause it's got some of the most devastating smart girl insults in it. "You've got a whole lot of nerve/but what good does it do?" -- ohhh, brash indie girls, you have my heart!
So, the Los Angeles Times is running an op-ed piece about how the gay identity is becoming less distinctive because "more homosexuals are coming out and joining the mainstream." Wait, what?
Neat. (And, I'm probably going to be saying that a lot for a week or so after having watched "Annie Hall" for the first time.)
The author, Gregory Rodriguez hits on interesting points, mostly bringing up demographer Gary Gates and his data on various reasons he thinks people are becoming more accepting of the queer folk. It's intriguing, if only for quotes like this:
"Society is beginning to say that being gay is not such a big deal," Gates says. "What that means for gays is that homosexuality won't have the centrality to their identity it once did. Being gay then becomes one of a variety of an individual's competing identities."
Huh. I sure hope that Rodriguez is right when he writes, "the tolerant will multiply."
I'll be waiting.
I told Tres Bien I was planning on posting something angry for this week's queer music mix (and I guess they're not really mixes -- I hadn't thought about that until now. But whatever, right?), and I kind of debated for a while about that. I have some really sweet, gentle music that I'm eager to post, but a promise is a promise, yeah?
This week: The Haggard! An I'm-so-old story: I saw The Haggard play at a really fancy Northeastern Women's College when I was still in school (not at the fancy Northeastern Women's College). The building where they were playing was a shortcut for students who were walking through campus and, at one point, some very delicate looking girls paused near the crowd during a song. They were kind of looking at the stage at these two insane, screaming queer kids and also glancing fearfully at the crowd of (probably really fucked up) crusty punk queers. When the song ended, they effing bolted along the edge of the room to the door that led to the other side of campus. And they never even so much as glanced back.
I'd write more about them, or do my usual why-I-picked-this-song thing for The Haggard, but I don't really know much about them other than that they are a 2-person hardcore/queercore/homocore band. Emily and STS (of The Lookers, Cadallaca, and probably a thousand other bands) have recorded on the now defunct Mr. Lady and with Heartcore Records. All of the googling and attempts to find more links/info has turned up a whole lot of dead links and not too much more.
It's a little sad and humbling to me, I think. There were a couple more angry homocore bands that I had been thinking about posting for this week's mix, but I seriously couldn't find anything online about them. It's shocking to me that bands that made a huge impression on me and my friends have sort of melted into history.
Enough of that!
The tracks:
- "P.E. Teacher" - from "A Bike City Called Greasy"
and three tracks from "No Future":
- "Wouldn't Wanna Be Your Girl"
- "Sundays In Oregon"
- "The Haggard For President"Enjoy!
Not so fast? Apparently, SpotDJ is flaking out on me. I spent a bit of time making the mix, and then it wouldn't play in browser. I'm trying to fix it now, but uploads are taking FOREVER. The end of the best app ever?
Suck it, SpotDJ, I thwarted your evil plan! Enjoy, this time for reals!
Right, so now that I've posted more in one night that I usually do over the course of a week, I should probably explain.
I've quit playing World of Warcraft. I've been playing for two years, so my saying this is the equivalent of someone saying they're putting down the crack pipe.
(I'm going to kind of queer this post in a sec. Be patient.)
After two years of playing for a insane amount of time nearly every day, after two years of seeing real life friends nearly fail out of grad school because of alarming amounts of play time, after two years of seeing people take days off work to finish off stuff in-game, after two years of getting called a fag for not killing the virtual dragon (or whatever) fast enough: enough already. Enough. Thanks, but I'm done.
To Warcraft it up a bit: WTS 3 epic-geared level 70 characters. PST.
Blech. Crack pipe DOWN.
The state of Virginia would like David Phillips to return his license plate NOW (it reads "POOFTER"). Ahh, humorless Virginia: I loves ya.
I'm kind of hoping he goes with his old vanity plate slogan. Snarky queer guy for the win!:
Merriam-Webster says "poofter" is "usually disparaging," and the Oxford English Dictionary calls the word "derogatory slang," but it's routinely aired on broadcast television, and Phillips says it's less disparaging than "nancy boy," which happens to have been his previous license tag message ("NANCBOY," for four years, with no complaint from the state). "Poofter," Phillips contends, "is a pretty neutral word. It gets past any e-mail filter."
Also from OurChart: The L Word is all done with filming season 5. Kate Moennig's hair is even longer and shaggier than I ever thought possible.
I would have embedded it, but it's somehow forbidden to do so. I'm not sure why.
Hookup/OurChart has a post about this CST article on a queer couple who were voted "cutest couple" of their senior class. Ruckus ensued. School admins eliminated the category (who doesn't have a fucking "cutest couple" category, you fucks?) and then changed their minds. The picture of the cute queer girls could run in the yearbook, along with the photos of the hetero couples who failed to be as popular cute.
You know what I got in high school? Voted "Most Alternative". I'm not even kidding. Somewhere, in a yearbook that I don't even have, there's a picture of a 17-year-old tentimesfast with purple hair. I am engaged in the pretty much non-alternative, mainstream sport of hacky sack with a punk rock dude in the photo. Right. You can stop liking me at ANY TIME NOW.
That said, I'm still impressed with the level of outness and radness on the part of any high school kid that's happily 'mo enough to get voted "Cutest Couple" in a high school yearbook. Granted, it's in (or near) Chicago, and not in some podunk town in West Virginia, but still: brave.
Jezebel's Crap Email From A Dude makes me cry with laughter whenever it's updated, and after last week's Crap Email From A Girl, I started wondering ... maybe someday there will be a Crap Email From One 'Mo To Another?
Okay, here's why: ever since I started reading CEFAD, I've been wondering whether or not to send them this EPIC post-breakup email that I got once from a girl who had (and probably still has) a really inflated sense of her own intelligence. The best part of the story is that prior to sending the crazypants email, she broke up with me using talking points that were written down on a series of index cards (which I still have somewhere).
It was either awesome or completely humiliating. I still can't decide. The point is, I'd love to see it in print, so ... submit?
I have HIGH hopes for A Different Kind of Ladies Night. I heart the gay boys, and the bar scene they have in D.C. is kind of out of control, but it just isn't the same as walking into a bar and having it be mostly (or all) women. Getting served right away and not having to clean the toilet seat off before peeing is also REALLY nice. I'm going to see if the wifey wants to go to an event or two or three and at least give kudos to the chicky who started ADKLN.
And so do most gay men I know, so take advantage. I started visiting thenewgay.net because tentimesfast mentioned the neat Hug-In event at Rite-Aid last week that one of the site's creators organized. Thenewgay.net is a social Web site for Washingtonians and also has a few posts about lesbian events in the City. Click on the "what is the new gay?" tag on the left to find out more. There will always be a soft spot in my little heart for fledgling queer sites. Aww. ...
I discovered The LBGT Hate Crimes Project today. Ugh. My heart.
OKAY: an update ...
I retract my previous statement about the "real couples" thing, because MY GOD. That was hot.
I ... wow. This might be the video that makes me shell out for another three months of kind of weird stuff. If I can get one of these every 2 months, then word: I am hooked for life, son.
I mean, GOD. HOTT.
----
There's a new video (Mik and Wes), and I think you know that this means I will have to post about porn again.
However, it'll have to wait one sweet day, since I'm dying from the lack of sleep and the fact that I'm going to watch some transduder porn tomorrow. Until then, a snippet from the site:
It’s winter break and the college bois are on the loose, but don’t judge a book by its cover. These rough and tumble youngin’s have some of the most tender, passionate, and honest sex between a daddy and his boi.
Check out the video for Boyskout's "You Act Strange" on their website.
I love me some Boyskout, but that's one effed up media player they've got there. No easy way to embed it elsewhere and I'm not even sure I saw the whole video. Still, if you sit perfectly still and DON'T MOVE THE MOUSE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, you'll be rewarded with a really quirky vid for an even cooler song.
DON'T MOVE THE MOUSE!
DCist has a loverly post about the hug-in protest at a D.C. Rite Aid (the protest was in response to the 'phobic booting of a gay couple from the same Rite Aid) that seems to have gone off all squishily and lovefest-like.
The photos are cute, but my favorite is the one where a chick is trapped in between some hugging 'mos while she's just trying to buy some motherfucking mustard, for the love of God:
I am seriously considering hitting the 'mo personals, so crap is my schedule and my luck at meeting anyone Not Insane lately. Seriously. I'm almost entirely seriously serious about this, to the point that I just spent 4 whole minutes browsing profiles on Planetout.
OR maybe I should just start a Femme Mafia. Because I want to be an ally, of course, and not because of my utterly corrupt motivations. Ally ... yeah, that sounds about right!
